Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Three S - Solids, Sleep & Sex

Happy 2012!  I hope this new year brings you happiness. 

LMI was given the green light to start solids at her 4 month well check visit. I was so excited that I went out to outfit my kitchen with bowls, spoons and bibs for her to enjoy her first taste of food. I was also ecstatic to finally have a reason to use the food processor we got as a wedding present 7.5 years ago. 

We started with rice cereal for the first week. She was so cute with cereal covering her face sitting in her highchair. She knew to open her mouth when the spoon was there, but once the food went in she had no idea what to do. Watching her figure it out over the following days has been quite the site. She loves eating and is really enjoying the oatmeal. Shes also now eating a tablespoon worth - pretty soon she'll be a real chunker.  Next month we start vegetables!  If you have any good recipes I'm all ears. 

I have decided that Fer. Ber must have a heart of stone. We started sleep training LMI so that she would learn to fall asleep on her own. Since the harness we have been getting into some really bad sleep habits (frequent wakings, difficulty getting to sleep, needing to be in my bed) and I was feeding her a lot. Her dr told me to let her cry 10-15 minutes only and then feed her. Because she's small, I cant ignore her - she needs her night feedings but I dont have to be an open bar either. 

The first was awful to say the least. When I initially put her down (at her regular bedtime following her normal routine) she cried for twelve minutes before falling asleep. If only she stayed sleeping. She woke up after 27 minutes and then wailed and screamed for forty two minutes. It was gut wrenchingly awful. I was bawling too. That was the worst of it. It has been a week and a half and for the most part she has made huge success. She still continues to cry, but for a couple of minutes and not with such intensity. She is still waking up regularly and feeding 2-3 times during the night. If you have any suggestions for helping her sleep longer I would appreciate it. She is still sleeping in a bassinet in our room as I am lazy. I am waking up multiple times a night and don't want to leave my room, but maybe its time for her to go in the crib?

In terms of sex, what sex?  Seriously, when do you find the time and logistically how do you make it work?  It creeps me out to have the monitor in the background, but otherwise I may not hear her. I guess in time we will figure it out. 

Aside from this LMI is doing great. She is laughing all the time and is loving being around familiar people. She is also obsessed with putting her hands and anything they are holding in her mouth. Maybe its the beginning of teething, I don't know but it is darn cute. 



  1. so glad you are doing well. always wishing you tons of love and happiness

  2. Hey R! Great update!! That's sooo awesome that LMI is on cereal/solids now. So so fun! And good on you to start sleep training! We just started a bit of training ourselves. Now we craddle/rock LN10 less (like 5 mins) before bed and naps and if not sleeping, then its to the crib where he'll cry for like 15 mins and then usually its off to sleep. He's now waking 2x a night still and soooo wish he'd drop one of the feeds in the night. But alas that will come soon I hope! And teething...LN10 started MAJOR drooling and biting at 4 months too and its lasted ever since. When the pain was intolerable I would give him Tylenol. Seems he must be getting used to the pain as it seems to bother him less and less and has perhaps found his own coping techniques. And for sex life...pfff...we're lucky if once in 6+ weeks around here. I am starting to worry that we'll be one of those sexless marriage couples?!! Ha! Great update and post all you can about your sleep training. Very interesting. Its soooo hard to hear them cry, but what I find works is to keep busy while they cry so you are less tempted to check in. I sooooo wish I had the video monitor!! Would make life easier when just "letting them cry". Anyway, take care!

  3. hi r!
    sounds like things are going well in your family!

    we were too chicken to try sleep planning or whatever with our bub, but clearly they need the consistency of a schedule and opportunities for getting all the sleep they need. i have just now at 16m started an 'enforced crib nap', and after a couple weeks, he is starting to get the picture. he doesn't cry in the crib anymore, and most of the time he gets a partial nap- not as good as if i am sleeping there with him though. but the goal is for him to move to his crib and sleep there for all sleeping! he sleeps with us at night. the trick is to keep the routine and schedule, so they know they can trust it and you.

    i think maybe feed baby more during the day, and then maybe she will drop one of the night feedings? she is still quite young, so 3/night is standard- i think- i am certainly not an expert. my bub still wakes up 1-2 times a night for a quick feeding. i try and tank him up but he is not really a big eater anyway. its something you can try though, especially as she gets more interested in solid foods.

    sex? ha! no comment! i see this as a time when normal stuff like sex just gets sidelined because *you have a little baby in your house*!! when things calm down and you get on a better routine, more privacy, you will find what works for you.

    always thinking of you, and glad your sweetie pie is doing well. soon she will be on veggies/fruits and wanting to try your own food! she could very well be getting some teeth soon- how exciting! so happy for you!


  4. We did cry it out (but at older) and the best thing for me was to put my headphones in or go outside. I'd look at the monitor at intervals but just getting to where I couldn't hear made all the difference. It worked very quickly....three bad nights and then much much better! Sleep is so wonderful!

  5. Oh my heart aches when I read this. Sleep training is a brutal experience for the momma. I dont have advice, but trust your heart. If you dont think this plan is working for you consider reading the No Cry Sleep Solution.

    We used it for Toddlerina and still pull it out for reference as short as 2 months ago and she is 2 and a half.

    Trust that this will work itself out eventually. I know it is a long stretch comparison but it is like potty training Toddlerina. I was stressing out she wasnt taking any interest. Tried for months. Then last wkend she talked non stop about undies. Bam. Mostly potty trained in 48 hours.


    Let your little one lead you when they need to.

  6. So glad to read an update. It sounds like things are going well. I know it is hard to hear your little one cry, but trust me, it won't last long and is so worth it. My favorite sleep book is the Weissbluth, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Baby. It is really reassuring about how what we are doing is in the best interest of the baby, who needs to learn how to fall asleep on his/her own. I can say that my little J-dog is a champ at putting himself to sleep now, and has been sleeping all the way through the night since 4 months. So try to stick with it.
    Also, I do think that LMI might be ready to try her own crib. And discuss it with your doc, but I think she might be able to just have one feeding at night. It could be hard to figure out how to let her know that she only gets to eat once a night though.
    Good luck!

  7. Weird to hear how different advice is. We're told in the UK not to start solids till around six months. It means we get to skip the baby rice and pureeing and go straight onto proper food. I like this but it might not be everyone's cup of tea :) We're doing baby led weaning, where he just feeds himself - have you heard of it?

    Cry it out... in my opinion, there's a reason it's horrible not to respond to a baby's cries, which is because we're meant to respond to them. If your instinct is to go to her when she cries please do so! When they stop crying it's because they've learned you're not going to come. Have you looked at ? Babies have sleep regressions when they sleep worse while their brains are developing and making leaps forward. Jack is now waking 2-4 times a night at 6.5 months, more than he ever has done before even as a newborn, but he's still breastfeeding and he only has a little tummy, and he needs to know that his mummy is still there when he wakes up and is scared in the night. My mantra is 'this too will pass' :) And he's staying in our room until he stops waking up at night because there's no way I'm going to his room 2-4 times a night :)

    I know this is a really emotive topic and if you sounded happy with it I wouldn't say a word but you don't :( Happy to give more info/web resources if you want to look into it yourself but I promise never to mention it again unless you ask :) xx

  8. Could we see a picture of LMI please!

  9. Yay for baby updates! LMI is cherished, no doubt! We used (and ADORE) Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tabs - found them at our wal-mart, check baby dept and/or pharmacy section for tots. Also, she's big enough that she knows you're near, and when she's so close you are a constant reminder. I'd say start moving her bassinet toward her crib - a foot per night - until she's out the door, down the hall and in her room. It might ease the separation for both of you. Sex? With a monitor? Buzz kill! Unless you're going marathon, if she starts fussing half way through and you don't hear her, by the time you check on her she'll still be fine! It can be a challenge to get in the right mental place for *romance* so if the mood/opportunity strikes - go for it...and leave the monitor in another room!

  10. I'm another baby-led-weaner, which I found so much easier than purees, but honestly, if you don't have a problem with the purees, stick with what's working!

    Sleep-issues are one of those things that everybody figures out for themselves. I'm not a big fan of cry it out, but most of us find ourselves doing some variety of it at some point, and as you feel you've made some headway with it, that's probably the main thing.

    Regarding getting her to sleep longer... I did a lot of guesswork on what was causing her to wake up vs what helped her to sleep. Try and eliminate the wake up factors and increase the sleep ones (duh!). Yeah, it's a crapshoot. White noise was a godsend for my daughter... Also, have you tried to get her back to sleep without feeding?

    Re the bassinet in your room vs the crib in hers... do you have a particular reason for moving her? If it's still working, don't feel she needs to be in her crib. Mine both roomed with us until six months (although we had to move the bassinet away from the bed because I was a light sleeper and I found myself lying awake listening to every grunt).

    Sex... put the monitor out of the room, somewhere where you'll hear her if she cries, but not close enough that you're aware of it. The logistics of sex with a baby are very awkward. Like everything else, you figure out what works for you and it does get easier as baby gets less demanding.

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