18 Months!

February 23rd was the big day. LMI is a full on toddler! Seriously, its nuts. You wouldn't know to look at her - she's still quite small at almost 19lbs, but her capabilities and comprehension are full on toddler.

- She is running all over the place. It's so cute to watch her yell, "go go go go go..." while running up and down the hallway.

- Her language skills are increasing everyday. It is so unbelievable to watch her learn a new word and master a new part of the body or animal sound. It seems like something new happens daily. It's really cool. My favourites are the sound a rooster makes, "cock-a-du-du" and belly button (accompanied by pointing).

- Getting dressed is one of the most fun activities a person can do. She loves trying to put on her pants and socks. She practices all the time and feels so proud if her boots make it on her feet!

- Reading. She can sit for long periods of time just looking at books, identifying things she knows in the pictures and asking us to read to her. If we say a line from a book, she is able to find the book. We aren't really sure where she gets this love of reading, but we are celebrating it!

- LMI is a garbage disposal. For such a small girl she sure eats A LOT. Fajita's are one of her favourite foods. Like ever. She sucks the chicken pieces up and loves to try and get the fork through the pieces. Of course, pizza is always a pleaser and so is fruit. Any fruit. And just when we think she can't possibly shove more food into her mouth - "bite". Lol.

- Lastly, LMI is such an affectionate little girl. She greets us in the morning with a big HI and smile. She hugs us and all of her stuffed animals with pats on the back. Seriously, she has started taking care of her stuffed animals by putting them in the high chair and the shopping cart. She has a "baby", but other than giving it a kiss she really isn't so interested in it yet.

And that is LMI in a very brief nutshell. Cute, funny and loving life.

What Do You Think?

10 000 units of hcg were shot into my ass on Friday, February 16th at night. Today is ten days past trigger and 5dp5dt. Very clear BFP.

Could it be real?
-R.

Thoughts

This morning I was officially finished with bedrest. Every time, I hope and pray that this will be the last time. I take my time getting up and out of bed. I walk slowly to the bathroom and have a shower for the first time in days and then I slowly get dressed.

And then we pack up the room and leave the hotel and hope that we do not come back.

It's a weird feeling to be in the TWW. You are so hyper aware if every twinge and pull and cramp in the ute' region - but yet it doesn't mean anything. The hormones/drugs mimic pregnancy so the crazy tired cant pull my head up and lower abdomen cramping are just mind fucks. I want it to be because I'm pregnant, but really at 2dp5dt should you really feel something? I didn't feel anything with LMI. I caught completely off guard - this time I am hoping that every ache is something more.

I am feeling good emotionally speaking. A and I are on the same page and feel we made the right choice for us right now with the eSET. My lining was good for me. The embryo was beautiful and "just like fresh" and my mind was relaxed. This is probably the best my body has ever been for a transfer.

But yet I am not sure if I am feeling it.

It is so scary to let myself believe or hope that this may work out. We've been here before and we know how it turned out. This is my 5th DE embryo transferred, 14th overall. So I'm scared. Scared shitless. I am not sure where to go next if this fails.

I am going to be positive. I am going to try and be positive.

-R.

Finally - Transfer Day

Today is CD29 otherwise known as FET day! Yes you read that right, it took 24 days for me to naturally ovulate. How is that even possible? Because my cycle was so fucking incredibly long - we didn't know if we would make it to a transfer, but here we are.

So far things look good. My hormone levels are where they should be, my lining is a triple patter 6.7 (good for me) and I just found out that our embryo is completely hatched day6 AA. Also we are the ONLY transfer today - that must be a good luck sign?!

Being back on the transfer table feels like I never left. I've had the same acupuncturist 3 times and she even said I looked familiar. We had the same nurses and feel at home with the FET routine. The only difference this time is the number of embryos to transfer. A and I went back and forth on this for the last month. Yesterday we were committed to two, however at the literal last minute we decided to go for the eSET. I could not imagine getting pregnant with twins - hoping the one takes, but with my complications from LMI I wasn't prepared to take the risk. If this cycle doesn't work out we may change our thoughts but I am good with this decision.

Thank you for the continued support and I will be sure to update from my bed while eating tones of pineapple core!

And on another note, I am so over the moon happy for my friend Patience who is FINALLY a mom!!!

-R.