Thursday, July 28, 2011

Seriously?

I'm going to loose my mind, seriously I don't know how much more stress I can take. I had an OB appointment today and Little Miss IT is not growing appropriately. She has dropped to the 16th%ile and has fallen below our growth chart curve. Right now we are in a holding pattern. Weekly ultrasounds to monitor fluid and blood levels with non stress tests thrown in, but growth ultrasounds every two weeks. If at any time, her growth is not making progress I will be officially diagnosed with IUGR and she will be taken out. My dr predicted in two weeks. Two weeks! Holy shit.

My head is spinning right now. I was not prepared for this. I was planning on a huge baby, because, hey, that's what happens with GD, um not the other direction. I shouldn't be shocked or even surprised by this. I mean, of course I'm going to get all the complications. I shouldn't be surprised.

I asked my dr if the growth issue could be related to DS and he said yes, but not likely. Apparently, babies with DS usually have a small abdominal growth, LMI issues is her head. He told me again that it's not too late for the amnio, but my reasons for not doing it the first time, are still valid and so we will just wait it out,but it's getting so fucking hard to get these thoughts out of my head - especially now.

I'm stressed and I know that it is not healthy for me or LMI, so I trying really hard to just live in the moment and relax. A is totally on board with this attitude and he is doing everything in his power to help me remain calm. We are even going to spend Saturday afternoon at the spa and then go for a nice dinner. I'm really looking forward to that.

I still feel so incredibly blessed that I even have these worries to stress about, but seriously, how much more do I have to take? All I want is a healthy baby, is that really too much to ask for?

-R.

17 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry you are going through this. I am holding you all in my thoughts and in my heart. We are here for you, my sweet friend.

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  2. I went through a similar experience and it was hard. U/s said my little girl had dropped to the 5th percentile and while they did not explicitly say so, they eluded to the possibility that she might not make it. It was a horrible two week wait. BUT, at the next u/s, she was in the 50th percentile and perfectly healthy. She did not have a major growth spurt in two weeks. The original u/s was an error. Fast forward to now, she is a healthy 7 month old and still in the 50th percentile. I am so hoping for a similar error for you. I know of several other error stories that make me think it could be a possibility for you. You are so close now. These challenges will be over soon.

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  3. Ugh. So sorry. But hang in there! You're getting so close!

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  4. I'm so very sorry R. You are in my thoughts. You don't deserve all of these complications after all you've been through. Sending big hugs to you!

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  5. R--

    I know this is very scary. But it sounds like you are being closely monitored which is very good. My little IUGR baby is nursing as I type. Little miss IT will be fine.

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  6. Wow, you really do get it all- I'm so sorry you have one more thing to stress about. But it sounds like you and LMI are being closely watched, which is a good thing.

    Try to enjoy the spa and hubby date night. ((hugs))

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  7. Thinking about you and your little one and wishing you as much peace and patience as you can muster in the next few weeks as you wait it out. Take care.

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  8. I am so sorry, R. Thinking about you and LMI and hoping that she is just small, but otherwise healthy.

    Much love,
    jo

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  9. Also thinking of you and hoping that everything is ok.

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  10. Oh R, I am so sorry that you keep having more and more things piled on. You are in my thoughts.

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  11. R I am so sorry. You must be terrified. I am keeping you all very close in my thoughts and prayers.

    R you are on my mind. We all want nothing but the best for you, Little Miss and your family.

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  12. "All I want is a healthy baby..."

    Oh, how those words struck a chord for me. I'm so sorry that the rollercoaster is continuing for you, but hang in there, because it's just a few weeks longer now.

    Don't stress over being stressed. In an ideal world, we would all be perfectly relaxed and zen throughout TTC and pregnancy, and that certainly is the ideal way to go through the journey. But stressed women deliver healthy babies on a daily basis--and stress isn't the cause of IUGR.

    My thoughts are with you, your husband and Little Miss IT. May you all be celebrating a very happy birth day soon.

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  13. I had been nervous too as I had to have the stress tests twice a week and ultrasounds every three weeks, but everything turned out fine. They measured one baby at 4 lbs 12 oz (US) and he was born 5 lbs 4 oz the next day. My boys are only at ten percentile in weight but they look perfect to me! I wonder if the fast food industry changed baby statistics.

    T

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  14. Another positive story for you. My son was measuring at 3 lbs at 32 weeks. I had lots of growth scans and checks because I never measured over 32 weeks. They fully expected him to be 5 pounds, six if we're lucky. That was their estimate at 40 weeks. Three days later I gave birth to a huge 8lb 11oz baby! Everyone was shocked. There was a room full of dr for a healthy huge baby boy.

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  15. I am so sorry you are dealing with SOMETHING ELSE! When will it end?? I am happy to read some good stories in the comments and I'm hoping all this scare was for nothing. HUGS to you!

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  16. thinking of you my friend. im so sorry i haven't been able to be here for you more. it isn't the pregnancy of LMI. i could not be more thrilled for you and wish more health and best wishes for her than i already do. it's just me. im a mess. thank you for checking in on me and im sorry i haven't been doing the same.

    i am going to continue to hold you both close and believe that everything is going to be just fine. and that little girl is so lucky to be born into a family that already loves her more than anything.

    thinking of you a lot.
    xoxo
    lis

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  17. My thoughts are with you and LMI, I really wish you could catch a break already! Huge hugs to you!!

    ~mel. (Broken Eggs)

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