Sunday, February 19, 2012

Rolling Right Along

Thank you for all the well wishes for Boobie. She is thankfully recovering well from surgery, but emotionally its been really tough on her. Hopefully she will be out of the hospital and in a rehab soon and her mood should improve. 

LMI is turning six months on Thursday. Where has the time gone?  We went for our appointment at the children's hospital and her harness is coming off!  I was so surprised as I was convinced and prepared for the spica cast.  She was examined by xray instead of ultrasound and it showed that although her left hip is still behind the right, the dr believes it will self correct. He told us to take the harness off in three weeks. We have one more week. Why us it that the end is always the hardest stretch?  Seriously. I was in a rhythm with the harness. We were friends. But it seems that since learning its going to come off life in the harness has become unbearable. 

First is the barfing. It gets all over the harness.  Its totally disgusting. Even though we have two it seems that one is always in the wash or air drying so she is often stuck wearing a freshly soiled one. Sigh. I think its much harder on me but who wants to smell puke all day?  

The other issue is rolling. Normally I would be ecstatic that she can roll from her back to tummy, but she cant go the other way. So literally all night long I am running to flip her because shes uncomfortable and crying hysterically. All if the hard Ferber work we did has basically gone out the window. Now at the first moment of crying/fussing we go to her, shove the passy in her mouth and flip her necessary. Otherwise she gets very worked up and continues roll and cry. Its awful. Thankfully she goes to sleep well and sleeps for a solid four hours before the rolling fiasco begins. 

What else is new?  Solids. So far LMI loves her oatmeal and barley cereals. She has one for breakfast and the other for dinner every day. It is so cute watching her open her mouth wide when the spoon comes her way and she is now eating almost four tbsp at a time. She has also started having fruits and vegetables at lunch. So far I have made all the food and it is pretty quick and easy with the help of my microwave steamer and food processor. We started with orange vegetables and they were a hit. So were peas and cauliflower. Bananas on the other hand?  Yuck!  I have never heard of a baby hating bananas, but she does. It took her a few tries to like apples so at least thats one fruit she loves. Next will be pears hoping it will be ok. 

And the most exciting news of all...shes finally in 3-6month clothing!  It couldn't have come at a better time, I was getting so sick of the same five tops.  Change is good and growth is better. 

LMI you continue to make everyday adventurous, exciting and an absolute joy. I love watching you grow, laugh and learn new things. Happy 6 month birthday, mommy loves you!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

It's In My Genes

The will to fight.

Over the past years 5 years of my IF struggle to conceive and meet LMI many people told me that I was a fighter and very strong. I didn't feel strong at the time, I felt I had no other choice, but to continue to try as many ways as I could to become a mother. I never really thought about where my desire to fight and be strong came from until last week when my dear friend LisainSK connected it to me, my Boobie (grandmother).

Last weekend my Boobie fell in the bathroom at my parents' house. She is 93 and her bones are frail and this fall was bad. She broke her shoulder, her hip and a few ribs. She needed surgery for her hip. The prognosis was not good. This was on Saturday. Scared does not even come close to what my family was feeling. My Zaide (grandfather) passed away when I was a young girl and my mother is an only child. We are all very close with Boobie.

Saturday was spent in the ER assessing the damage and Sunday was spent in anticipation of what the surgery would bring. The term extremely high risk was used...a lot. The thoughts that circled in all our heads were the worst. Thankfully Boobie was so drugged up on pain medication that she didn't know what was happeneing. It was similar to a Greys Anatomy episode where we watched as they wheeled her off to the OR and we were left waiting, hoping and praying that the surgery would be successful. Thankfully it was.

She came through surgery and is now recovering in the hospital. She is a fighter.

Her life has not always been easy. She immigrated to Canada in 1936 from Poland with $5 to her name. The rest of her family remained there only to perish in the Holocaust.

She got married and after eleven years finally conceived my mom. Sixty years ago IVF didn't exist. Women did not go on birth control and people did not put careers first. If you were married the expectation was that children would follow. Those that had difficulty conceiving had no scapegoat. Everyone knew. My mother is her rainbow baby. Her miracle. Her one and only child. My Boobie always felt a connection to me and even though A and I kept our IF from our extended families - she knew. I could often see the pain in her eyes when she talked about her dreams for me and my siblings. I know that she was ecstatic when my sister announced her pregnancy, but she was also quite concerned and devastated for me as well. It broke her heart that I was struggling like she did.

My Boobie is a fighter. She is a survivor. She is facing an extremely long recovery especially for someone her age. A and I postponed our family vacation so that we could be here for her. Because of her, I have the will to fight. I love you Boobie.