What a Weekend

This was the busiest I have been in a long time. Almost every minute was planned out, which was both so nice and exhausting at the same time. It started on Saturday with A.'s cousin's Bat Mitzvah. It was so weird being the pregnant lady in the room. People would come over to me and ask me questions and I played the role well. I smiled, said how excited I am and participated in simple pregnancy banter. I did not let on, how scared shitless I am about the pregnancy or the potential complications that are looming over us. Now that I am clearly showing with a big round belly, it feels a bit like an open invitation for people to ask questions - no matter how relevant or give their advice - especially when unsolicited. I guess this is to be expected and I should just get over it. Ok.

It was then off to my parents' house to help my mom prepare for my dad's 60th birthday. We had a family BBQ party and it was a truly special evening. We prepared a slideshow of his life as well as a song, and my extended family wrote a poem. It was really touching. The best par to of the evening was my dad's speech. You should know that he lives to talk and is quite the pro at speeches, but this time was different. He seemed vulnerable. Maybe it was reflecting on his life ot thinking about his future, either way it was special. But I did again see my dad tear up when talking about my soon to be daughter. It is not a secret that we struggled to get pregnant from my extended family, but it also isn't an open book, so I knew why he was so emotional, but probably the other guests didn't notice. None the less, it is another reminder of wanted this baby is to so many people.

Today was filed with Father's Day cheer. We had brunch with my family and again the focus was on my BIL and his first Father's Day. I will admit, that it was much easier to take than Mother's Day, but still difficult at times. The hardest part was remembering last year, when we had learned about our miscarriage and my sister announced her pregnancy to the family. Hard does not describe that memory. I am trying not to dwell on that which I cannot change, but in the last couple of weeks I have found myself retracing old blog posts and going back to those darker days - not really sure what it's about, but it's a need of mine right now.

This afternoon was spent in the kitchen preparing for a Father's Day BBQ for A.'s dad and his sister and BIL. Incant remember the last time I spent hours in the kitchen and boy did my body take notice. I felt like at times I needed to sit down just to catch my breath or release some of the back stress, but it all got done. Everyone enjoyed the meal and had a good time.

Overall, this weekend was much needed to rlace the horrific memories from last year. Sure, we are still not parents, but at least this year we are closer than ever. What a difference a year makes.

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Today marks 28 weeks or the beginning of the third trimester! It is a huge milestone and I am now starting to believe that this is going to happen. I am hoping that Little Miss IT makes her appearance in 10 weeks, and when you think about it, thats not that far away. After a lot of discussion with A. and some friends and family, we have decided against the prenatal class. My cousin who is a dr. is going to give a short crash session on labour terms and must have information because as she said, in the moment of pain, most women forget everything from class so it's not so worth it anyway. I fel good about this decision and think it's the right choice for me.

Thursday will be my final GD test which will either diagnose or put to rest the gestational diabetes issue. I know that if I do have it, it won't be the end of the world and of coursei am willing to do whatever it takes to Little Miss IT safe and healthy - it will just suck. Wish mr luck.

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In funnier news, A. And I were in the liquour store getting drinks for the BBQ when I sneezed and needed to leave the store and run to the car immediately. Why? Because I peed myself from the sneeze? WTH?

-R.