The last few days have been stressful to say the least when it comes to the GC. We were having miscommunication problems and although I take some responsibility, I actually do not know when it started or what triggered it. I was getting snippy text messages and emails and was feeling rather overwhelmed by it all. I was feeling taken advantage of. But today was the straw that broke this camels back.
The GC went ahead and ordered her medications through her pharmacy even though I had said that I can get them at cost (the perks of having a drug dealer mom) and would FEDEX them to her. Ugh. Now I am out even more money as I had to pay to retail. It seemed a bit weird to me how quickly she organized the medications and picked them up as if she was double dipping (getting reimbursed from me and also submitting an insurance claim). In Canada, most of the FET prep medications are covered as they are double duty meds, also used for menopause so it is entirely possible that they were covered for her.
Ok, I was pissed off, but decided to let it slide because really, there was nothing else I could do. We were then making arrangements to go to Denver and she wanted me to pay for her husband to come along so they could have a mini-vacation. Um no f'ing way. It was my understanding that if I am going and am the one taking care of her, that there is no reason for me to have to pay for her husband. AL and I discussed this and she said that was in no way fair of her to ask of me. For the record, I have no problem with the husband coming too, I just don't want to pay for it.
Literally thirty minutes after she learned that I would not pay for her husband to go, I get a text message saying that the pharmacy misquoted her and that she owes more money and they didn't fill the prescription correctly. Let me get this straight - they gave you less pills and asked for more money? I find that highly coincidental.
I have gone over and above to try and be a good intended parent. I bought her a Christmas present, invited her and her husband to stay at my house before going to Denver for the ODWU, but enough is enough. This was rubbing me the wrong way.
I was stressed and I know that's not good for me and I want to feel like that. This is supposed to be a good time, a happy time and it wasn't. It was awful actually. I needed to separate my fears about my pregnancy from her. Rationally I realize that cancelling her will not cause a miscarriage, but in my heart it is all I am thinking about.
I will say that A. is 100% supportive of this decision and so am I. For the first time in a long time, I am feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I can breathe again. AL was amazing. She totally understood and supported me through this decision.
In the end it came down to my gut, and it was telling me to let go. I don't regret this.