Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snow Day & Anxious

School was closed today because of an impending storm. Yes we got snow, but I would not classify it as snow day worthy, but I am so not complaining. In light of the day off today, I bumped my weekly ultrasound up a day. I went alone as A. had to work and for the most part I was ok. As soon as I entered the building, I immediately felt my pulse rushing and started to get a nervous stomach (nothing one can do about that as you need a full bladder). I think the sonographer saw my anxiety and immediately tried to calm me down by showing me quickly and then returning to her measurements.

Phew, its still in there. Big breath of relief. It is growing. It is now 1.65cm and has grown arm and leg buds. Holy shit, there are arms and legs too cool!. I got dressed and met with the RE. She said that everything is on track and will see me next week. I must say that I am in a different state of mind now. I feel like positive thoughts may be creeping in (but not too many). I am desperately trying not to attach an outcome to this, but it is impossible. How can I not. There is a heart. It beats at 175 beats/minute and it is growing, every week. Every week I get more attached. Today is 8w2d.

The RE told me that acupuncture can help with the anxiety. I don't know. She told me it is safe, but then realized that if I went and something happened, I would blame the acupuncture so she said don't do it. I feel like I can't go on like this though. I feel as if I have run a marathon everyday and I am not straining my body at all. They say not to get your heart rate up, but mine is constantly through the roof. I emailed my acupuncturist, the same one I saw before and asked her opinion. I'm waiting to hear back. What do you think?



  1. Well, if acupuncture has been calming for you in the past then try it again. Or maybe some meditation?
    I'm so happy the ultrasound was a good one--of COURSE you are attached!! I'm so happy for you and can't wait to hear your weekly ultrasound updates as that little bean grows and grows!

  2. Hey R...I'm an advocate for acupuncture. A lady in my support group who had IVF went to acupuncture regularly throughout her first tri to try and alleviate pg symptoms. So so soo glad things are progressing so well. I just have such a good feeling about this...glad to hear positive thoughts are starting to creep in. Take care.

  3. It's a damned if you do and damned if you don't scenario: if you go and something happens, you'll blame the acupuncture; if you don't go and something happens, you'll wish you did the acupuncture.

    I think you need to keep sight of the goal rather than the method: you need to relax. If acupuncture has worked for you before, then go for it. If meditation works for you, go for it. If playing your favourite music works for you, go for that!

    Beyond acupuncture, find something you can do that will soothe you when you feel the stress coming on. I know it's easier said than done, but you've got a long road ahead still and this is something worth giving serious thought.

    Thrilled to hear the little one is progressing as normal. I'm hoping hard for it over here.

  4. I was very anxious during my pregnancy and acupuncture definitely seemed to help. (My RE recommended it too.) I went three times a week (don't laugh) and I loved it. If anything, it gave me 45 minutes to relax and think of nothing at all. I would try it.

  5. Glad you had a great day! 175 is an excellent heart rate!


  6. Congrats on the awesome ultrasound today, R.! This is just my opinion, but since Dr. Sch says to avoid acupuncture once pregnant, I would try to find another way to relieve my anxiety.


  7. How about the Cir.Cle daily meditation. I've been using it for my current cycle and love it. Their is one for pregnancy thru all trimesters.

  8. WOW!!! congratulations!!!!!! how about reflexology? It's incredibly relaxing, and I think it can achieve similar results to acupuncture, but without needles. I'm so excited about your news and am praying hard that in about 7 months time we'll be reading your birth story!

  9. No advice, but I'm glad you've hit 8w2d and things are still going well. I hope every week you will feel a tiny bit more confidence until it's just second nature. I am happy for you!

  10. Congratulations on another great u/s!! I hope you can start to relax more with each weekly appt. I have heard too, that Dr Sch doesn't recommend acupuncture once pregnant. But I've known lots of ladies who have done it. I did myself for my first pregnancy. Hope you can find a way to help the anxiety.

  11. Hooray for another great u/s and for getting past 8 weeks!! If your acupuncturist has had good success with pregnant women I'd say go for it if it will help you relax....

  12. Sounds like things are going great. Congrats once again.

    I held my breath through my entire first pregnancy. Meditation, walks, acu and yoga all helped me. I wish there was a "prenatal yoga after IF" dvd. I liked my "yoga 4 infertility" because it was slow, contemplative stuff. Good for the mind.

    Hang in there.

  13. I know that cold sweat you speak of. Breaks my heart to read it. I wish you could have a relaxed pregnancy but too much has passed.

    You know the good thing? When you look back on it, the worry will diminish and you will remember it fondly. I know after my stillborn daughter I was terrified through my pregnancy but it is all sweet and peaceful if I imagine it now.

    The mind is a funny thing.

    Delighted for your good news.

    I swear by acupuncture. I hope you will consider it. I switched practitioners and it was the best move for me. Have you shopped around? I mean, really shopped around?