Thursday, March 3, 2011


This was the most excrusiating week of my entire life. I had my weekly RE visit on Monday, and they did an impromtu ultrasound and NT scan...great. Not.So.Great. It turns out, that my NT measurement came back at 2.6, which is a bit on the thick side. Sure, most doctors will tell you that normal is <3, but when it is your number that is creeping up to the 3, it is not good. The RE tried to reassure me, but couldn't. There was nothing concrete she could or would say to calm me off my ledge. I went straight from her office to my dad. We then called the genetics lab that runs the results and they confirmed that the number was in the "normal" range, however it would not provide as clear a result as a 1.something would. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

To say that I was obsessing over NT scans and results would be an understatement. It really was the longest week of my life. People were trying to be comforting, but in reality, there was nothing that anyone could say to calm me down.

Today's appointments were overwhelming. I arrived at the hospital at 11:30 to meet an OB Internist to discuss my blood pressure and GI issues. I first met with a resident. BIG MISTAKE. She started taking my history, which was going fine until she asked me about my abortion. Um, what? I immediately corrected her by saying it was a miscarriage and that no, it was not on purpose. She didn't seem sympathetic at all, but she did manage to change the abortion to spontaneous abortion. Really? Go fuck yourself resident.

This interaction sent me into a tailspin of emotion for the remainder of the day. I found myself yet again, crying uncontrollably in a doctor's office.

Thankfully, my issues are of little concern right now and aside from wearing a 24 hour blood pressure monitor, I am to keep on my meds and continue life as normal. Phew.

It was then time for the NT. It was a more relaxing experience as I was able to see the screen and the heart flicker away the entire time. I did manage to ask to make sure to see a nasal bone as that is also an indicator that something could be wrong. He asked me if I am in medical field and my reply was "Infertility Patient".

When meeting with the doctor we were given the results of the ultrasound. IT is measuring right on track at 12W4D with a heart beat of 163. A nasal bone was present and the NT result was 1.7. Say what? How is it possible that two scans, only four days apart could be so different? I was really concerned about this and so my MFM. He personally went over and reviewed today's scans and cleared them as accurrate. We are going under the assumption that today's results and blood work are ok. We did put the blood as STAT and the risk assessment should be in early next week.

I am relieved, but also so confused. Yes, it was my favourite tech at the RE clinic. The one who was responsible for my getting on a plane to Denver asap in May, however to have such a difference is almost unbelievable.

Thank all so much for your thoughts this past week, they have really helped and I felt your presence today.



  1. Ugh, so much stress. :( Sorry about the nasty resident -- I thought they spent more time on bedside manner in medical school these days...

    Glad that everything is measuring on track and that your more recent scan was reassuring. *hugs*

  2. That sounds like a hard week for you, and I am sorry that you've had a rough go emotionally and a non supportive a-hole resident. I don't know you and am new here but will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. yeah - so glad that you got a good score. I was thinking of you today.


  4. I'm so sorry, but it sounds like everything is A-OK. What a relief!

  5. I'm glad today's measurement was more reassuring. Re the abortion comment--when I got my records from my 2nd RE in preparation to go to CCRM, I saw that he had put in his notes from our last WTF talk that my pg from my 2nd IVF, which ended in a missed m/c, was "terminated".I've always been pro choice, but this royally pissed me off. Ugh. I hope you are even more reassured once the B/W is in. I think MFMs have a lot more experience with NT scans than REs, so that measurement is most likely more accurate.

  6. My goodness what a week. I am so relieved that everything else came out ok. As you know, I had a poor NT scan myself and get supoer nervous when I hear that other people are going for one themselves. I hope you start to feel better soon. hang in there sweetie.

  7. I had a perfectly normal boy two years ago. During his NT scan, my nosy self saw every single note the US tech made. His NT measurements ranged from 1.6 to 2.4, she did nearly half dozen measurements and in the end they just took an average. Its really a matter of fractions of a mm so it almost makes sense that from different angles the numbers would have some measurement error. What matters is that BOTH your numbers are in the normal range! Congrats!

  8. Wow sounds really scary and very stressful. So glad that todays score is perfect.

  9. About to have a heart attack when I read glad everything checked up okay in the end.

    The abortion thing pisses me off...when I had to sign my D&C paperwork, there was "missed abortion" all over the paperwork. So, I can see how someone who wasn't familiar with my medical history could mistake it for an elective abortion. GRRRRR!

    Sorry for my happy for you:)

  10. I'm so glad that the second result was better! I also had a horrible experience with a resident. I'm going to write a letter to her attending about it, too.

  11. Just when you think things could NOT BE MORE STRESSFUL something else comes along--I'm so glad in the end things looked so much better! The universe must comply with this demand: The rest of R's pregnancy and her entire child's life MUST BE STRESS FREE :)

  12. r,
    so glad your re-measurement went in the right direction! i guess if i had that experience, i would assume that, just like ivf u/s tech's measuring follicles- they do it every day so they are really good at it and know exactly what they are looking at and doing. maybe not so much with n/t measurements, and the regular dr.'s office who does n/t measurements more often would get a more accurate measurement. the blood work will help to give a clearer picture, and great that you're getting them stat.

    that is tough about the 'spontaneous abortion' notation. the medical field is very cold in terms of the words they use to describe, what to us is a very emotionally charged memory or event. i am sorry you had to sit there and experience her uncaring demeanor and cold words.

    thinking of you r! thanks for sharing your results... so far so good.


  13. So sorry that this was so stressful!! Hopefully the good news about your nuchal fold measurements will be confirmed with the blood test. I'm pretty confident they will be. A bad NT scan is, like, 8 (which is what I had). I realize that isn't horribly comforting when you're worried that you're creeping toward 3, but I also wonder whether that initial NT scan wasn't on as high a resolution machine??? Anyhow, I am really hoping for you that it all comes back ok.

    I hear you on the 'abortion' word too. It's painful to hear, as if we chose it. Although, oddly, I've come to the point where I've accepted that it's just a medical term. My own feeling is that it's us and society that have attached bad vibes to the word 'abortion' with the notion that all abortions are 'elective.' They clearly aren't. I have both a 'missed abortion' on my record (it just means 'miscarriage' in the medical lingo) and an actual 'abortion' on my that I chose after my horrible NT scan in order to avoid miscarrying on my own at 14-15 weeks instead of the more fertility-preserving D&C at 13 weeks.

    Anyhow, thinking all good thoughts for you!!

  14. Sorry about all the stress! I hope you get some reassurance from your lab results.

  15. Yikes!! WAYYY too much stress no doubt. So glad all appears to be accurate now and really hope the stat blood work will provide OVERWHELMING assurance to make up for the overwhelming stress of this past week. Interesting thing about the nasal bone? What does that mean?

  16. Wow, sounds like a tough week. :( I'm so happy to hear that everything is in the normal range for your NT scan though, especially the one by the tech who specializes in NT scans! I'll be keeping everything crossed that your bloodwork turns out just as great!

  17. thank god everything is okay today, though you would love a special needs baby, i know, im glad to hear that things are going well. especially after that dumbass screwed up the first measurement.
    sending you love and light as you move ever closer to the second tri, my love.
    please, please, please send me a belly pic or make a page at the top like i did. want to seeee!

  18. I'm glad you got a better result today. The NT scan is really stressful.

  19. you poor thing -- i am SO glad that you were able to get some relieving news. i hope that you can take that measurement of 1.7 and relax a little, although i know that's easy of me to say that.

    i love the "in the medical field? no, infertility patient" question and comment. :)

    and that resident sounded like a stupid cow. they should know better.