Monday, March 7, 2011

Wonderful Weekend

The weekend was amazing. It started on Friday, when I told my boss. I was so nervous all day, I felt like I was constantly running to the bathroom, but...I did it. I managed to tell her, without saying the actual words (haven't been able to do that yet). She was really excited for me and guessed that it was a long time in the making...sigh. To be expected I guess.

Friday night we told my extended family. We were at my parents for Shabbat dinner and it was just my immediate family and my three grandparents. A. did the telling and the response was overwhelming. My grandfather was so happy and animated (which is always a good thing) and my grandmother was immediately brought to tears. My boobie, was in a bit of shock. It took her 11 years to have my mother and she was unable to have more children, so she has felt this kinship with me (even though we have never discussed IF or my TTCing). After a good hour, she processed what we said, and was just so happy. It was a moment I will never forget. I think the best/hardest part of the telling was my father's reaction. After we told the grandparents, he excused himself to the other room and just started bawling. Watching your father cry is never easy, even with it because of extreme joy. It reaffirmed how much A. and I are loved. It also made me realize that I don't think my dad ever thought we would actually get to this place. He has always remained cautiously optimistic throughout it all, but now I realize that he was probably doing that to protect me. In any case, the memories of the moment will never fade.

My aunts and uncles and cousins came for dessert and A. again got to tell them. Again, the room was filled with love and excitement.

I will say that as much as I cherish the fact that we were/are in this place, I wanted the night to be over. The emotion was too much at times and I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I didn't enjoy myself. I was so focused on trying to hide my tears (as I am not sure what emotion they were from) and ignoring my extremely nervous stomach, that I wanted to go home. It was just too much. Wonderful, but too much.

***

Saturday was spent emailing and telling friends. Again, the response was amazing. People that I didn't think really cared one way or another, emailed or left voice mail with the sincerest of words. Some actually cried. The outpouring of love was felt.

***

Sunday...I went shopping. My sister, niece, and two BFFs hit the mall for some maternity shopping. Thank goodness we decided to have lunch first, as I was quite overwhelmed. We got to the first store and when I was alone in the change room, I stared at myself in the mirror. I couldn't believe I was actually there. Tears started, but I wouldn't let them get out of control. I managed to hold myself together.

I literally tried on the entire store and managed to do quite well. It was the first time in a long time, where shopping and spending money didn't bother me. We know by now that I love shopping, but I haven't allowed myself to do any in the last few years as I was always hoping the new clothes wouldn't fit soon after. This time was different. I needed new clothes. My not so small stomach is popping out of my pants and I am uncomfortable (so not complaining...stating facts) so shopping was in order.

Having the support of my sister and friends was amazing. Yes, at times it was like too many cooks in the kitchen, but they were there out of love. It was really special.

This truly was a weekend like no other.

-R.

15 comments:

  1. r,
    what a beautiful moment for your family. you are really loved, that is a fact! thank you for sharing that moment here. i would have cried too if i was there! your dad has a special role with being able to help you with medical questions, etc., but he is your dad and loves you like nothing else :) i am glad he was able to express his emotions in this regard.

    also glad you got some clothing that will make you feel more comfortable- a big step, and it sounded fun to have your friends there with you.

    as you know, there is a lot of inherent stress with this pregnancy, but when you do have some moments of 'normalcy' and joy like you had this weekend, it is nice to be able to 'go with it' and enjoy the experiences- there's plenty of time to be worried outside these momentary lapses of happiness!

    thinking of you always!
    soulshine

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  2. I am so glad that you had such a wonderful weekend and that all went well!

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  3. What a great reaction by all of your family! I can imagine that it must have been overwhelming for you, but it's just so wonderful that you could share this good news! Happy maternity shopping!

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  4. Big smiles, R. Huge smiles. Yeah, it still has some hard parts, but just the fact you are here, at this place, makes me smile. Big smile. :)

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  5. R...I am just so glad you and I have developed a friendship that has allowed me to witness such a precious event in your life. It brought tears to my eyes to read about your dad's reaction. I know he has been there with you in the nitty gritty, even attending appointments with you and A at CCRM. I would even go so far to believe that this very pg has renewed his spirit that may perhaps has been trampled down by all the bad medical dramas throughout his career. A and I feel nothing but love for the two of you and we are beyond elated that the two of you were able to experience such a monumental weekend. Its like nothing else and I hope more IF couples out there get to experience such weekends like you and I have had the fortune, soon. And you are going to LOVE wearing the mat clothes - WAYYY more comfortable!!

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  6. So sweet how your dad cried tears of joy for you and A:) What a special weekend that you will remember forever!!

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  7. Sounds like an amazing weekend. Your description brought tears to my eyes, I can only imagine how hard it must have been to hold back your tears. I'm so happy for your maternity shopping trip too, that's something I could never bring myself to do (I only shopped online) and I wish now that I had. Hope the new clothes are super comfy! :)

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  8. So happy that things are going well and I very happy that your grandma got to take part in your joy. Enjoy all the new clothes. Keeping you in my thoughts.

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  9. It sounds like very powerful moments in your life unfolded this weekend. Your family's reactions were priceless. They really get what this means to you.
    I am so glad you get to experience these wondrous moments. I hope you can let them sink in.

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  10. I don't think I've commented before, but I just wanted to say that this is a beautiful post. I love a good dream come true story :) Congrats!

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  11. I'm so happy for you! The shopping sounds fun. And I highly recommend using a belly band sooner than you might think - release that belly!

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  12. I can imagine that pain in your heart telling the story.

    It was beautiful to read.

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  13. I'm thrilled for you that you had such a wonderful weekend and were able to create such lovely memories. Really happy for you!

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  14. that was a wonderful weekend! i would see my dad cry here and there over the years and created such a profound response out of me. dad's aren't supposed to cry, you know. it is wonderful that you were able to see those happy tears from those that you love. enjoy that belly!!!

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  15. I am so glad you are experiencing joy because you so deserve it!

    T

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