I haven't felt the urge to blog lately. There really is nothing going on right now that is worthy of the words - so I'm pretty quiet. I am still obsessively reading your blogs and checking IVFC, but I am not in such a commenting/posting place.
I'm still in the fog, but am no longer crying. It is hard to admit, but I feel like I am just going through the motions. I have spent a lot of time with my sister and niece and still nothing. She continues to be super sweet, but I don't really feel anything yet. I hope that is ok. Maybe that's why I'm ok to be around her so much? It honestly doesn't bother me the way I feared it would. It is like it has no affect on me whatsoever. Which probably is not a good thing.
I have been working on my final project for my course for the past week and it is like pulling teeth for me. I have lost the motivation. I am procrastinating as best I can by watching crap loads of HBO Canada. I have discovered two series in the past week that have some sort of IF storyline. Both shows are fantastic with or without the IF element.
1. Bloodletting an Miraculous Cures - this is a Canadian HBO series that takes place in a hospital and focuses around the lives of three doctors. Now try to stay with me as it is a bit confusing. Doctor A and doctor B dated. Doctor A broke up with doctor B and married Doctor C. Doctor A and C can't have children due to a blood problem (not sure I understand this IF problem) so they are asking doctor B to be their sperm donor. I will say that we learn all of this with the first episode, but the series is not about infertility. It is more about the relationships of these three doctors. It is really well done and only eight episodes so it's worth a watch.
2. Boardwalk Empire - this series takes place mainly in Atlantic City during the prohibition time. It has everything from mobsters, drinking, sex (lots and lots of sex), killing and infertility. I admit, I was quite surprised by this storyline, even though it was quite brief. What I enjoyed about it was the honesty that out poured from the female character. It happens towards the end of the first season, but it really is a surprise and well done.
In other news, today is CD48. Yup, you read that correctly. I am contemplating POAS to make AF arrive, but don't want to waste my money LOL. No, I don't think I am actually pregnant. That ship has sailed. The only reason I know what cycle day it is because I looked it up on my blog. Seriously, I have no clue when or if AF is expected and aside from the fact that I am majorly bitching out - I'm ok if I never see her again.
I have been drinking caffeine and wine like its going out of style. I stopped my pre-natal vitamins two months ago and I haven't seen my acupuncturist in ages. If I was pregnant (which again, I am not so please no miracle thinking) I would have some serious doubts in the medical profession.
My plan is to give it a few more days and if still nothing, kill myself. Ok, not really. I will probably put a call into NN to see if this is normal or not.
Thanks for continuing to follow although with sad story of mine, I wouldn't blame you if you traded me in for a more optimistic read!