Every time the phone rings or my BB indicates an email I find myself nauesous that it is my sister. The baby is coming. Her due date is approaching (Jan 1) and it could literally come anytime now.
In theory I am so over the moon excited for her to be a mom, my parents to be first time grandparents and for A and I to be aunt and uncle. In reality I am petrified. What if I can't stand to be around the new baby as it is just too painful? What if I am the worst aunt and sister ever? What if my own jealousy and anger rips my closest relationship apart (me and my sister)?
When I think about the massive mountain left to climb still, I feel overwhelmed. At times, it is hard to breathe.