Monday, January 10, 2011

The Party

Yesterday was not an easy day. It started at 7am when I went for my beta test followed by the party. I told my mother that I would help set-up and decorate the room so I spent the morning arranging flowers, organizing the tables and putting the finishing touches on whatever needed to be done. I began to get nervous that I had heard about my beta around 1pm as they always call by 12:30pm. I kept thinking that it would not be a good day to get bad news. Please don't let it be bad news.

They finally called around 2pm - just before the party started and to my surprise, the number went up again. 1088.3! Holy shit that sounds like a strong number. I really hope this works as I find myself getting attached.

The party was very nice. I was only mistaken for my sister two or three times which was less than anticipated so that was good. Each time it happened though, it was like a punch in my gut. No, I'm not the one who just had the baby, I'm the older infertile sister. Wouldn't it be nice if we could actually say what was on our minds? Having my own positive news definitely helped get me through the party, however there were moments where I needed space. I felt suffocated at times being in the sea of pregnant bellies and new babies. I spent time on the couch in the corner or walking the halls when I needed a baby-free zone, but luckily it wasn't too much of the time so no one really noticed.

At the end of the party I was exhausted both mentally and physically that I came home and crashed at 8pm. A. was really sweet. He lay tucked me in bed and kissed me good night and I was able to finally have a better night sleep. I have no more baby related obligations. I can finally move on from the disappointment and begin to heal.

-R.

16 comments:

  1. Congratulations on so many things. Surviving that party is pretty news worthy. Your beta is delicious.

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  2. Cool...glad to hear it went off without a hitch. And that's an AWESOME beta...praying daily that this works out!!! So far...so good.

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  3. r,
    so glad that you got thru that party and you survived! i found with all particularly sensitive other-people's-pregnancies, it felt much, much better when the baby was finally born. you really have done so well with your sister's child, you have such a good heart.

    seeing your beta rise is *such* a wonderful thing... i continue to think of you and hope that with each day that passes, things will progress as they should.

    -soulshine

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  4. I've been following your story and am SOO excited to hear about your wonderful rising betas!! My younger sister also got pregnant (first time she tried, of course) and had her baby while I was in the midst of fertility treatments. I did not handle her baby shower as well as you did, from how it sounds. I know how awful it must have been for you, but I hope that now, you are able to focus on the miraculous event that has happened to YOU! Congratulations!!

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  5. yay for rising betas!! that's great news and i'm SO happy for you!!

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  6. I'm SO ecstatic for you that your beta continues to rise! Congratulations on surviving the party--that would be rough no matter what. Thinking of you.

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  7. Great news that you had such a strong beta!!

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  8. Congratulations!!! Another wonderful beta. I am so happy for you and am also saying prayers for you and your bean daily. Do you get an ultrasound any time soon?
    -tbb1

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  9. Amazing: the beta and your grace, both.

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  10. I am glad that you got thru that party. Now it's time to concentrate on you and that your little nugget! Just take of you and sleep when can you must be pretty dang tired.

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  11. So happy for you:)

    T

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  12. Congratulations on another strong beta!! Yay for no more baby related obligations!

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  13. wow! this just keeps getting better and better! So excited to hear about the beta rise!

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  14. blah blah blah . . . 1088.3!

    THEN I could go back and read. I am so glad you had this good news to hold on to. Continued good luck to you!

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  15. You're so amazing to be able to help with the party like that, so glad you survived! Even more thrilled with your betas!!! I'm just so excited for you.... :)

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  16. Awesome beta!!! So glad the party is behind you.

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