I have officially checked out. I just can't do this anymore. I am going forward for A., but in my mind it is over before it began. My stellar lining has clocked in at a remarkable 4mm. Yup, you read that shit right, I am moving in the wrong fucking direction. That is crazy low. If my last three FET prep attempts are any indication, my lining tends to thicken about .3mm every five days. At that rate, it will take me two months to get a 6.5mm and I will loose my triple pattern. So ya, I'm pissed. I'm just done. Bring on the next step.
Oh and in case you know something about hormone levels that I don't, here are mine:
CD9
lining- 4mm
e2 - 3756
p4 - 6.07
lh - 0.709
-R.
UPDATE: Just finished the conference call and she is awesome. We officially have a GC! I'm still planning to work on my lining, but get her screened in the meantime. Finally, at least something positive happened today.
((HUGS)) I don't think the "I am so sorry" line even justifies and helps! I don't have words! Just (HUGS)!
ReplyDeleteI'm pissed for you too R...enough is enough. Hope your conference call with the GC goes well and hope that your heart won't cause you too much grief as your head moves forward. Like you said on IVFC, it is what it is. If those are the US equivalent numbers then your E2 is really high and should be able to get you a better lining of 4mm I'm thinking. However, if those are the CDN units then not sure. But I know they want your e2 over 300 US units and I understand are different from the CDN/metric E2 units. And sorry to be the bearer of my happy lining news on a day of disappointment for you. Wishin' we could both do the happy "lining and triple stripe" dance right now.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea if they are US or CAN numbers, but they are the numbers CCRM told me.
ReplyDeleteTotally sucks. However, you are lucky enough that you have another option - an option where you don't have to take those pills, put on those patches, shove in the prometrium and inject yourself. You are lucky that A supports you too. Can someone in the US go through the same surrogacy program and would it be the same price? Sending you hugs and a shoulder for the next step.
ReplyDeleteT
T
Ugh, so frustrating. I'm sorry, R.
ReplyDeleteI've had good luck with evening primrose tablets helping my lining (one in the morning, one at night, during my follicular phase). They also help with med side-effects.
Has CCRM talked about using an estradiol spray? I did that with some of my IUIs -- it was a funny looking round spray that I used on the inside of my arm.
*hugs*
That's hard. I'm so sorry your uterine lining is of the uncooperative ilk.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you and hope the other parts of your day were good, even if this one was horrible.
Sending hugs
I am so angry for you, R. I just don't get it. I don't have any inspiring words, just want you to know that I am thinking of you. This IF crap sucks....
ReplyDeleteOh dear R. I am sorry your lining didnt respond the way you needed it to. I am sorry the road through this was so long and had such low points.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your GC. You really shine when you talk about it, you know that? I can sense the smile on your face.
It was a hard transition from my eggs to donor. Once it was done though - I thought "what the hell was I so worked up about". Funny how getting your hands closer to the cradle changes it all.
I hope you continue to develop this beautiful peace with a GC.
I am so happy you have another option that is making sense for you at this point.
All my best to you R.
AHHH...screaming like a giddy school girl!! Its not going to be easy but with your rock star attitude and determination its all going to work out. I just know it.
ReplyDeletewow. im sorry and congratulations, my friend. bittersweet, like the rest of this journey. xoxo lis
ReplyDeleteps thank you for the email...the days leading up were MUCH worse than the actual day
Still think of you... and listening to Snow Patrol.
ReplyDeleteT
i'm so sorry R :( thinking of you and wishing you luck in both courses of action.
ReplyDeleteUgh! Damn lining! I'm glad you have plan B working too, and so glad you found a GC you like - that is good news!
ReplyDeleteOh sweets, I'm so sorry about your lining! I can only imagine how frustrating and disappointing it must be.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear that the GC call went well though. Still going to send you all sorts of good luck that you won't need her but it's great you've found someone just in case!
Oh, R., I'm so sorry your lining is being uncooperative again. Totally unfair! I'm so amazed by your strength to keep plugging along.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that your backup plan is almost set. Hopefully that will take a bit of the pressure off of you.
Hang in there, sweetie! One way or the other, your perseverance is going to pay off.
T.
How excellent that you are satisfied with your GC. Good idea to just move forward with both options so that you won't have a further delay. I agree with T--one way or the other, this is going to happen for you!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry that DE - or at least DE alone isn't going to work out.
ReplyDeleteYou do sound excited about the GC. It is hard to make those compromises even if pregnancy is only 9 months of your parenting experience.
Sorry, I should probably know this, but is it possible your eggs are good after all?