Friday, October 1, 2010

I'm sitting in a Starbucks drinking a decaf vanilla latte and eating banana chocolate chip cake...I'm cancelled.

This morning my measured a thick 7.1mm, but still homogenous so its the end of the road for this cycle. Right now, I am coping. I have to. I am not at home in the comfort of my bed and I tool the last of pills last night, but I am devastated. And angry. And scared.

Plan one million and one is now in full effect. I have scaled down to two patches every other day and begin taking oral progesterone tonight. I should expect a period in 10 days. Then I will start this nightmare over again.

Thanks for all your support this week, it means so much to know I'm not alone.

-R.

25 comments:

  1. Oh R, ugh. I'm sorry. I know you will cope - you are very strong. And also, you didn't really get a good bleed with your last AF, right? So I think you just need to completely get rid of that uncooperative lining and start fresh. So here's to having a nice big nasty period (without much cramping though!), so you can get going.
    Hugs.
    And I am jealous of your coffee (even decaf) and chocolate chips - I hope they were yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh honey, I'm so very sorry! I wish I could make it all better for you.... Huge hugs and much love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Damn, R. I'm so very sorry you are cancelled again. Truly not fair at all. (((((HUGS)))))

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so, so sorry. That just sucks. Huge huge (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Rb-k.. I am so sorry. I cannot wait until the day this is all just a bad, distant memory and you FINALLY get what you have been working so hard for. Thinking of you... tbb1

    ReplyDelete
  6. So not fair. You weren't even thinking about the pattern and the lining came in fine. Thinking of you.

    T

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, this is devastating. I'm so sorry the transfer got canceled. I hope you can regroup this weekend and find the strength to forge ahead. Take good care of yourself, beautiful woman.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sheesh you CANNOT CATCH A BREAK. Universe?? Are you listening? R does not deserve this. She has suffered enough. She has proven her desire enough. She has DONE ENOUGH. Please please please let her next attempt produce a beautiful triple striped thick lining. Please.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm sorry. Hope next attempt brings better news.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So sorry to hear your cancelled. So very frustrating and unfair! Hang in there and hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I didn't think it would end up here. I am really sorry to hear it is.canceled. I know a month may as well be next year.

    Get home. It will feel so good to be there.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This sucks and I hate hearing that you are in such a place right now. Hang in there and know we are cheering you on.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm so sorry. Never getting there is so tough. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so very sorry. Canceled cycles totally suck. thinking of you....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh {{{{{{R.}}}}}}, I'm deeply sorry that you've encountered yet another freaking roadblock. Like Cassie said, hopefully the light period was just a sign of a wonky cycle and next time will be better. We're all here for you to lean on this next month.

    T.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so sorry you're being put through all of this. It stinks and it sucks HUGE. It feels awful to get this far and then stop your cycle BUT I think you need to do your last cycle with your own uterus with as little regrets as you possibly can. I think if you had pushed and gone ahead, you would have had regrets if it didn't work out so although this is excruciating in the extreme, you did the right thing to stop and try again. I canceled my first cycle at CCRM after doing all the prep, flying down there and doing an extra few days of injectibles until we finally decided not to proceed so I get how awful it feels to start and then stop a cycle. You have all of this forward momentum and all of a sudden you come to a screeching halt. Not fair. Try to hang in there. Sending you a GIANT HUG.

    ReplyDelete
  17. &$%$@#!!!!

    I'm so sorry honey.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Visiting from LFCA ... I'm so sorry to hear this. *hugs* to you ...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Visiting from LFCA...so sorry to hear your cycle is canceled. It really sucks. ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete