The lonely line is still present. It wasn't horrible this morning. Don't get me wrong, this mother fucking sucks, but at least I didn't cry. I managed to make it through most of the day without shedding a tear or even welling up. It has sunk in though, this cycle failed. I will never be pregnant. I am that farther from reaching the end of this journey.
A. and I had a really great talk about things tonight. We are both committed to eachother and our GC plan. Yes, we hate that we are in this place, but we are going to try and move forward and not let this completely devastate us (me). I told him, I will try and be brave and positive, but if (when) his sister announces her pregnancy all bets are off. He understands. It was really nice being able to rely on eachother. Usually, when we get devastating news (and lets face it, we get it a lot), we each grieve in our own ways. To some degree this is still true. I have been hysterically crying and grieving all week, and he is only beginning to now. I know I still have a long way to go before I am able to accept what has happened and all that I have lost, but I know I will get there...eventually.
Tomorrow, I leave A. for a women's weekend away to the Capital City, Ottawa. I am looking forward to some much needed time away. I am just really hope I will be able to keep myself together on the train when the call comes.