I'm here in Ottawa and I survived (barely) the night. I emailed NN in the morning and told her to email me the directions for stopping meds as I didn't want the call. She did. It was easier to take that way.
I managed to avoid full hysterics all day, but there moments - many moments of hidden tears, deep breathing and biting my tongue.
I had to have my go to feel better food. A McDonald's chocolate shake. I haven't eaten anything from there in years, but it was so good. In high school when I was down, I just had one and felt better (like when I broke up with a bf). The best part was, I texted a friend to tell her what I was drinking and she just knew. I didn't have to say the words and that was really nice.
A has been a surprise through all of this. I had been prepping for the news for days but he wasn't ready to hear it. Finally on Thursday night he did. He told me how proud he was if me for continuing to fight and never giving up. Wow. I guess I didn't realize he felt that way. He also said that its time we celebrate. We need to toast the end of a long fight and the beginning of a new one (hopefully one with far less battle scars). I thought this idea was perfect. So next weekend we are going for a night on the town. If anyone is from Toronto and has some suggestions, I'm all ears.
I think about where we were last summer and I am so proud of us. We found our way back together stronger than before. Maybe this is the lesson I'm taking away from this all? I don't know.
I'm still raw, devastated and shocked. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I haven't had time to really process what is happening. Aside from our parents no one knows about our latest trip or our plans and I'm not sure how/when/if to tell. Advice is welcome here.
The conference itself isn't proving to be the best distraction at all. I am usually the youngest person in attendance by 20 years, but there are a handful of us 'youngsters'. We went around and introduced ourselves and of course I get seated beside the over-the-moon first time pg gal who must have thrown it into conversation 100 times. Seriously, the marks in my tongue may be permanent. I was so distraut that I went to bed early with my bff - Vallium. I managed to sleep and at least I know what to expect today and who to try and avoid.
The speakers and activities planned for the weekend sound promising and informative so at least the weekend won't be a total disaster.