Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm doing ok. I'm working hard and trying not to think about the disaster my life has become. So far, I have only needed to take a Valium once, so I think this is progress. As much as it was difficult seeing the one lonely line day after day, I think it helped me make this all seem real. I haven't processed all that this means and the enormity of the situation and to be honest, I don't really want to right now. For today, I am working on not crying and getting through the day. It is a lot easier said than done.



  1. I totally understand if you cannot get through the day without crying. Please try to not be so hard on yoursefl, if you need to cry and take valium for a while so be it.
    Thinking of you....

  2. Hang in there, my dear. As time passes, I think the acceptance will feel easier. Never easy, but hopefully easier. Sending hugs and love.

  3. Thinking of you and glad you are coping better than you expected. I hope you both get to go to a really nice restaurant. You should look online to find something well rated. I like to look at (don't know if it is for Canada too) and watch food shows such as Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. I am sure you can find a great new place.


  4. Thinking of you...

  5. Thinking of you, R. One day at a time is all we can do. I am so very sorry that you are having to endure yet another heartache. Big hugs to you.

  6. In my thoughts and prayers...

  7. Thing of you lots. Hang in there.

  8. I applaud your progress but remember the Valium is there for a reason. Rest when you need to rest. There is no reason to solider on each and every day.

    Thanks for the update.

  9. Hang in there sweetie. Thinking of you. *hugs*

  10. I am so late in commenting but I just caught up on your posts and I am so so so sorry. You've been through the wringer and I am heartbroken for you. Nothing can make that pain go away and I am sorry you aren't where you dream yourself to be.

    I am in such admiration of your DH who suggested celebrating the hard fight that you've fought and the end of this part of your journey. He sounds like he really gets it and is really with you through this tough part. It's such a great idea and I have a few suggestions for you:
    1. Get a chef's table at a local restaurant where the chef personally cooks for you and you normally sit right in or extremely close to the kitchen so you can see what is going on. I'm such a foodie and would love to do something like that but these tables are not cheap so I always want to defer this to some kind of celebration. You may want to check out one of Mark McEwan's restaurants or one of the Oliver & Bonaccini restaurants (i.e. Jump, Canoe, Auberge du Pommier, O&B Cafe Grill) for this.
    2. Go see a show - Wicked is back for a limited time and it is really funny and well put together and from what I recall, has nothing relating to pregnancy or babies in the story. I've heard good things about Priscilla Queen of the Desert as well but can't vouch for whether or not there is anything pregnancy related. Under no circumstances go see Rock of Ages - good musical, not appropriate right now for you.
    3. Treat yourself to a weekend away at St. Anne's Spa - food is awesome and the spa treatments are fantastic. You will likely not run into any children there either.
    4. Harry Potter comes out this weekend - I'm sure they're doing a debut somewhere on IMAX...if you're a fan, head out to see this after a nice dinner somewhere?
    5. If you're a skating fan, you could try to get tickets to see a taping of Battle of the Blades downtown Sunday or Monday night

    Whatever you do, I think your DH had the right have been such a warrior and a trooper. Celebrate that you have withstood so much that would have knocked a lesser person to their knees.

    Sending you a big giant hug.