Yesterday A. and I met briefly with a new RE. We are actively researching doing another DE IVF locally, or so I thought. Right now, the thought of doing anything just terrifies me.
On the one hand, you can't get hurt if you don't try. I feel like this is the same coping mechanism that my students use. They don't want to look stupid or feel badly if they do poorly so they don't try. Not good in school, but where I'm at currently, doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
On the other hand, not doing anything terrifies me. I can't be stuck in this place for much longer. Something has got to give. One way or another, I need to know my future. Whatever that may be.
I am just sick of fighting this stupid fucking battle that I did not willingly enter. I want off the ride.