Who says wine can't take your problems away? Last night we went to a wedding for one of A.'s oldest and dearest friends. I have to admit I was dreading it...A LOT. First of all, who wants to get dressed up, go out and socialize when all they really want to do is crawl into bed and hibernate? I needed a plan to get through the night...WINE! Let me start off by saying that while cycling, I am one of those annoying people who takes the doctor's orders very seriously. I cannot remember the last time I had alcohol, or chocolate or fun. This was going to be the night. It took all my energy to pull myself together and we went to the party. I enjoyed three glasses of white wine. Three. Well, to say I was relaxed would be fair, but to say I "forgot" about my struggles and infertility struggles would be accurate...at least for a couple minutes here and there. I allowed myself to enjoy the buzz of the wine (which obviously didn't take much as I never drink) and then it began. The room was spinning and I could feel myself going into that drunken territory that one does not want to be in.
It is funny how being older makes you react to situations differently. I remember turning the legal drinking (19 in Ontario) and going out to as many bars in one night as I could. I ended up throwing up on a street corner, in a taxi and even my bed! I was told that I was loud (although not obnoxious) and extremely funny that evening. Last night was the opposite. I was a refined drunk. I quietly excused myself to the bathroom and did my thing-4 times to be exact, and then returned to the party. It did not ruin my night.
Now, almost twelve hours later what can I take away from this experience?
1. I am a cheap date (all this from three drinks)
2. I have matured in many ways since my 19th birthday
3. I can overcome any hurdle
Today is the day that I start anew. Today I will try and put the past behind me and begin to slowly move forward. This night turned out to be better than expected...I gained some clarity.