Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Getting Through the Day

Thank you for not judging me and continuing to hold out hope, when I fear there is none to be had. For the record, tonight's test is still BFN. This morning, I was at my worst. I need to apologize to you. Infertility is not the Pain Olympics and my pain is no worse than any of yours. We all suffer. BUT, I still admit that if you have found success, it is different.

I am trying to move forward and be ok with the way this is playing out, it just make sense to me. Why would it begin to work last time with a thinner lining, and now not? It just doesn't make sense. I guess this is one of those things that I will never know the answer to.

I am constantly on the verge of tears and feel like I could fall into a million pieces at every turn, but I am holding it together as best I can. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other and breathe. Only a few more days until this limbo nightmare will be over.



Just thought it was appropriate.

-R.

10 comments:

  1. Oh, honey, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I hope the BFN turns around, but above all, I hope you find peace in whatever form it takes.

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  2. Thinking of you. I hope that you are able to get through the next few days and no matter what they hold, know that you are not alone. I wish there was some sense to all of this- but I've learned from my experience that there just isn't. I am hoping that 2011 is the year for us both!

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  3. I am counting down the days with you.

    Success doesn't make us different in my eyes.

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  4. Oh R, I really hope that things turn out differently than you think they will. But I know that it's important to prepare for the worst.
    My thoughts are with you.

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  5. It sucks to be unsure. I have been told everything was great a few times and got BFNs. Or, the pregnancies started out great and crapped out. I am rooting for you no matter how you get your eventual happy ending.

    T

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  6. This is your blog and you get to write about your pain.... I'm just hoping you get to overcome that pain sooner rather than later! Hugs to you!

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  7. Let me just say that I totally get it, everything you just said I think came out of my mouth at some point. I am thinking of you and sending you love and strength to get through these next few days.

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  8. i'm so, so sorry R. thinking of you and sending hugs xxx

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  9. Thinking about you and sending good thoughts!

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