I'm not cancelled. My lining is still thin at 6.6mm, but I still have some time. My LH has also decreased and my progesterone remained the same at 1.3 (not sure where it is supposed to be, but its good) so overall things are progressing. Yay. NN was out of the office today so I expect a call tomorrow to decide whether we delay by a few days or proceed for the 6th, I'm thinking we will just go ahead as planned, but I don't call the shots.
This morning while I was getting my blood drawn there was another woman doing the same. She looked low, sad. I overheard the medication name and knew she had experienced a miscarriage. Tears began welling up in her eyes and I found myself right back in that place I was this summer. I told the woman, that it does get easier and she gave me a look. This summer many of you comforted me in my many hours/days/weeks of despair and I'll be honest, I thought it was a load of crap. I mean I had just lot my pregnancy, I couldn't think about the future. But you were right. It did get easier. we ended up walking out to the parking lot together and I told her how I miscarried this summer and how sorry I was. I hope I made her feel a bit better.
Those feelings were brought back today like no time has passed. SJ told me that I have symptoms of post traumatic stress from the miscarriage, the weddings and all the babies/pregnancies (especially my sisters). I think I do job of hiding my feelings, but today I was overwhelmed. There is a lot riding on this cycle and I need it to work.
I'm ok. I'm surviving. I'm fighting for a pregnancy with everything in me.