The sticky residue on my stomach is my reminder that in twenty two days I'm going to do my FET. I am 99% sure that this will be my last shot with my uterus and I am trying not to let this take over my thoughts, but it is really hard. I want to be a mother and I will be a mother, but I would like to be a part of the process.
It's one thing to use donor eggs, or a gestational carrier, but it is a completely different thing to use both. I know that if this is the path I need to take, I will eventually be on board, but I am in a scary place right now. I want so much for this FET to work, and I am making some good protocol adjustments, but the worry is still there.
I need to believe that things will work out, but that is hard to do when nothing ever does. I don't have a good track record or even a reason why things failed last time. They suspect it is me, but without testing we just don't know. That scares the shit out of me. Last night I started listening to my hypnosis cd again, and tomorrow I am going back to acupuncutre. I am hoping that these routine things help get me focused and prepared for the next three weeks.
-R.
And I'll be right here cheering you on when it's good news and wiping your tears when it's not. But whatever the outcome, it is my hope that your heart will eventually find peace knowing you did way beyond your best.
ReplyDeleteOh R, I could have written your post. I totally get where you are coming from. I had the "holy cow we are doing this" emotion at about the same point you are at now. Big hugs to you... I really hope this FET is it for you!
ReplyDeleteCrossing all fingers and toes that this does work!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope this one works! And so glad you're investing time and energy in the hypnosis cd and acupuncture to stay centered.
ReplyDeleteYou know I am hoping the best for you and that whatever road you take, you will reach your dream.
ReplyDeleteT
It's your turn, R., it just has to finally be your turn. I have everything crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteT.
Hoping this is it for you!!!!!!! Your in my thoughts and prayers for a successful transfer.
ReplyDeletegood luck! i am hoping that this is the cycle for you! (and i'm going to have to go and have a look what FET means..i think i've got a lot to learn!)
ReplyDeleteAll of my crossables are crossed for you. Grow, lining, grow!!
ReplyDeleteSending you all sorts of good luck! I really hope this is a huge success for you!!
ReplyDeleteHoping and praying that this will be your turn, finally. So glad you can get started with the process!
ReplyDeleteI think I understand the emotions. They are not fun. Ups and downs galore. Sometimes you will get it and other times it escapes you.
ReplyDeleteHave you heard about calling in your baby? Crud. I cannot explain it without going outer limits. Let me find a website from my acupuncturist and share it with you. Basically, start speaking with your baby to call him or her home to you. Send out the communication so s/he may find you.
Yeah. I am believe some different things. They never translate well.