A. and I had an appointment with SJ today. When we got there, she wasn't quite ready for us so we decided to run across the street and grab a quick drink. It is hot here so I was wearing a sundress that is a bit low cut, but still appropriate for day (I usually dress extremely modestly and showing even a bit of cleavage is too much for me) when crossing the stress I was accosted by a random woman who started yelling in the streets telling me to "put my tits away" and then started screaming about France and the burkah law. A. was seriously pissed and started to defend my honour, but the woman was not all there so I asked him to let it go. It was really weird.
On to the appointment...
It started off really well. A. and I both felt that we had made some great process and that we were both committed to this process. Phew. Then all hell broke loose. It was almost like a free for all where we started going back and forth and lots of stuff came up, but not in a good way. It was pretty intense. I was really upset and SJ could tell. By the end of the appointment I was just finished. I had no energy left. BUT, what was weird was that as soon as we left the office, it was back to business as usual. A. gave me a kiss goodbye and we went our separate ways (him back to work, me home). We talked on the phone during my drive home and I was able to articulate why I was so upset and I think he now gets it. I just wish he was hearing me before. Boys can be so frustrating sometimes. I know that we are far from fixed and we, like every couple will have our ups and downs, it just sucks sometimes. Things are ok between us and we are looking forward to the weekend and spending time together which is good. I am going to focus on that.
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In other news, I think I may need to distance myself from my sister. We continue to spend a lot of time together and I feel that it is not good for me. She continues to be extremely sensitive to me, but every now and then I want to explode. I am still so hurt and upset and although I don't show it to her, I am broken on the inside. I don't think it's realistic to really distance myself, but I need to find a way to be ok with everything.
-R.
R., I'm sorry that you & A. had a rough time at your appointment with SJ. It sounds like real progress that y'all were able to talk it out afterwards. I really think you guys are going to come out of this stronger than ever...there's just going to be some ups & downs along the way.
ReplyDeleteThat's just crazy about the lady yelling at you. I'm glad you didn't confront her just in case.
I can only imagine how hard it is to be around your sister right now. I'm so so sorry, R.
What the heck was with that looney tune?! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteBut really glad you and A were able to constructively discuss your issues, although intense, it likely was for the best rather than let it all get bottled up and fester. So glad you two were able to respect each other after the meeting.
Take whatever time you need with regard to distance from your sister. It's only been a few weeks since you learned of your miscarriage. This is totally normal. Actually I was thinking today it must not be an issue as you hadn't talked about it in a while and thought you must be superwoman!! Although you ARE superwoman...your human too.
It will get better but distance is probably the best.
Have a great night.
I think you should tell your sister exactly how you feel. If she is understanding, she will give you your space.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, saw The Hills and was not impressed. I liked the earlier episodes. However, no new good shows to watch this summer and the news is always commenting on the oil spill:(
T
Ok, that woman on the street sounds like I full on nutter! Who yells at strangers???
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you and A could air everything out with SJ and still talk afterward and look forward to spending time together. Sounds like you're making great progress! Oh, and boys are BEYOND frustrating sometimes! ;)
As far as your sister, while it might hurt her feelings a bit if she's at all a good sister I'm sure she'll completely understand that you need to take care of yourself right now....
Yep, I've been there when you are in couples thearapy and all hell breaks lose, but then it's all business as usual afterwards. Weird huh? But also good- very important to get that stuff out. Good job.
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