First of all, I need to say that I didn't cry today. Big improvement, and I am really proud of myself. A. left this morning for a boys road trip across the border to go and see a concert so I am home alone today and tomorrow. I decided that I was going to take some control. I actually left the house and did something for myself, I got a mani/pedi. It felt really nice to just be surrounded people and get pampered. I even choose colours out of my comfort zone. Dark purple toes and light purple nails both from the OPI Shrek collection. I then met a friend for a frozen coffee.
On to the WTF appointment. First of all, I love the dr. He reassured me that he will not give up on me and gave me some virtual hugs over the phone.
Basically here is the gist of it:
- Since I didn't have an D&C, there is no way to 100% know what caused the miscarriage, but he thinks it was my uterus.
- He doesn't recommend testing the embryos, but it is my decision. THere is no data to support testing the embryos and he doesn't recommend the thaw/refreeze/thaw. Again, he will do it I want, I just don't know.
- I can start to try again 60 days after I pass the tissue. Does that mean 60 days to start building the lining, or 60 days until the transfer? I will follow-up with my nurse on this.
- In terms of testing to be done, he recommends I do another hysteroscopy in his office. THis can be done with my next period. If I can't make it down there, I can do a sono locally. My preference is to do the hysteroscopy if the timing works out.
- He didn't have a copy of my recurrent pregnancy blood work, so my local dr. will fax it along. I may want to repeat this testing.
- I asked about the protocol and we may try the patches and estrace first, and then add the delestrogen if needed. This was the protocol from my OE FET and my lining was 7.5mm. Not sure, will rediscuss when I go for the hysteroscopy.
- He thinks I should try again with my uterus and if it doesn't work, move on to a GC. Holy shit, that would suck!
I will admit that I cried after I hung up the phone. I just don't know what to think. I did call A. and he told me is in 100% with me and that everything would be ok. I love him for that.
-R.
Sounds like a plan R...in the meantime try and live up the next 60 days as best as you can. Glad to hear you had another good day and even more glad to hear you and A are on the same page. Take care girl...
ReplyDeleteWhat about endometrial biopsies? I still believe in them :)
ReplyDeleteTell me why he thinks it may be the ute? What are his clues?
ReplyDeleteThat's great that you like your doctor so much and feel supported. It would suck to have an unfeeling RE or one who didn't offer that virtual hug!
ReplyDeleteIt plain sucks that you have to go through all this. Your last post on "failure" really hit a chord with me, although I know we feel depressed for different reasons.
Your last sentence about how much you love A and that you're enjoying your time together is a great one to read. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I'd throw in a massage too if you like that type of thing...
Kudos to you for not crying during the "talk" with the doctor. I have cried every single time when speaking with him. Maybe, it is because he gave you an answer as to why and all I got was we just don't know.
ReplyDeleteI hated the hysteroscopy and the sono was much better (when I had it done by good people) otherwise, that sucked too.
Glad things are going so well with A. I knew he would feel better as soon as he saw that you were doing things for yourself that would make you feel better.
T
I found your blog through LFCA. Wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss -- miscarriage and infertility in general are so hard on a marriage. My DH and I had some very difficult times, too, in the past year or so. I think you were so right to try and give him some space ( a hard lesson for me to learn!) and to do what is right for YOU.
ReplyDeleteWishing you some peace in the coming days/weeks.
Big hugs,
Jo
Glad the doc was supportive, and you have a plan now. I think the hysteroscopy makes sense, I'd try to do that if you can. The last thing you want to do it transfer another with some undiagnosed issue in the ute.
ReplyDeleteAnd even more glad to hear you are out and about, and doing some nice things for yourself. So good to hear. :)
is it normal that i want to scream WHAT THE FUCK? after your WTF appointment? your iterus gets ONE CHANCE and then you have to move on to GC????!!!! im not a doctor (surprise!) but that, R, just doesn't sound right to me!
ReplyDeletex
o
x
o
I was reading the last several posts and there is so much I want to say.
ReplyDeleteBut what can I say that will really help? When I was where you are, it was the worst time of my life. Keep breathing. You will survive.
BTW, I agree with lis . . . seems a bit extreme.
FWIW, our son that died at 27 weeks had normal chromosomes and 2 of my miscarriages were "normal female" which either means they were normal or they tested my cells. You may not have known even if you did a d&c
I'm glad to hear you had the appointment and it seems your doc is being somewhat flexible. I wouldn't worry about not having a D&C though. I had a D&C at 12 weeks and they told me at that age the babies were too little to know if something was "wrong" with them or not.
ReplyDeleteThey should also test your HcG to make sure you are at zero (which means less than 5 by my docs) before you can try again. I was never given X number of days before we could try again b/c every woman is different.
Hang in there friend. You are making tremendous strides with your recovery!
I am glad to hear things are seeming better. And I can't believe you got "hugs" from the doctor - that's amazing!
ReplyDeleteI second what lastchance said about an endometrial biopsy - have you thought about that?
And I think I agree that you shouldn't risk the thaw-refreeze-thaw with your embryos. Not to be flippant, but you do have a good number frozen so you still have a little flexibility.
Finally, I got dark purple toes and fingers last week for my mani/pedi. I usually don't go so bold on my fingers, but they are really short right now, so it looks pretty hip. Of course now, a week later, they are a wreck!
Have a great weekend on your own - that might be what you need right now. And it's great that A says he is with you 100%. I don't know how anyone can manage without that commitment from their spouse.