Sunday, July 4, 2010

Still Hurting

I thought I was doing better. A. and I have had an amazing weekend together and I have been feeling ok about everything. I guess should have known better. My sister came by to drop something off and seeing her has made me fall to pieces. She is finally really showing and something about that image has made me regress. I feel like I am right back where I started a few weeks ago. Thursday is my WTF appointment and it can't come soon enough as I need a plan. I guess I need this miscarriage to be over with as well, but that is still a while away. I just want the pain and emptiness to go away. Will that ever happen?



  1. I wish it was a totally forward progression through any of this, but it's just not. Even though we've abandoned ART for another path that will NOT include a baby bump, seeing them still sets me back. I can only imagine the pain of seeing your sister...I'm just so sorry for how things turned out.

    I hope these next days speed by and you can have a plan in place so that you'll feel somewhat more anchored. Thinking of you always.

  2. Have you spoken with your sister yet about how you are feeling? It is always hard and some days are better than others. I will tell you that I cried throughout all my WTF's because I had no answers, just we will try this next time.
    I have started the Heparin (blood thinner for those with unexplained miscarriages and possible clotting issues) and I am very black and blue. The doctor wanted me to do Lovenox, but insurance pays for Heparin. I wonder what kind of difference it would have made.

    Thinking of you.


  3. Hey R...I remember I nearly melted into the floor of my local grocery store seeing my first baby bump right after my first m/c. It does get better but you're more hyper-sensitive to things right now. It will pass and it does get better. Grief never ever follows a're strong one minute and a puddle the next. But the frequency between the two extremes gets better. Take care and so glad you had a great weekend. I also think that once you have a plan it will feel better too.

  4. It will, but I'm sure not as fast or as cleanly as you want it to. I am happy to hear you and A are having some quality time. And I totally get needing a plan - I never like not to have one, it never helps. ((((((big hugs)))))))