Today is Yom Hashoah - Holocaust Remembrance Day. Over sixty years the Nazis took power and the horrors of the Holocaust began and we use this day to remember and educate ourselves. I commemorate it every year by lighting a candle. When I was in grade 11, I was so fortunate to participate in a program called March of the Living, where teenage high school students travel to Poland to visit and learn about the concentration camps and life for the Jews during the war years. To say, it changed my life, would be an understatement. The most meaningful part of the experience took place on Yom Hashoah itself and it was the march--"the three-kilometer distance separating Auschwitz from Birkenau, the largest concentration camp complex built by the Nazis during World War II", where thousands of students from all over the world marched together. Every year, I reflect back on that trip and how it has changed my life. Genocide continues to happen today in many places in the world, and we cannot sit idly by while Innocent people are dying. "Those who cannot remember history are doomed to repeat it. ." --George Santayana. Ok, enough, I'm getting off my soapbox.
Last night was girls' night with one of my oldest friends. I LOVE spending time with her and she always puts me in a better mood. We have been friends since we were 8 years when we met at summer camp. This friend puts things in perspective for me (and if I have already mentioned her, I'm sorry to repeat). She is thirty and single, not. by. choice. Think about it, we are all so wrapped up in our infertile lives, seeing pregnant ladies everywhere we go and constantly hearing the newest announcement, but at least we come home to our husbands who comfort us. When we want to have an escape, we go out for a nice dinner or something of the like. She can't do any of this. Over the past two and half years, she has tried to meet someone. Blind dates, set ups and even Internet dating sites, but nothing has come from this. It just puts things in perspective for me a little. It sucks for her, just like infertility sucks for me. We commiserate, bitch and then do something totally fun, like see the movie Date Night. Super funny. Absolutely NO pregnant women, infertility or anything else that would make an IFer upset, I recommend for a great pick me up.
I spent the day with my sister. This was the first time we have hung out since her email. We have spoken on the phone daily, but I have been very short and just made up excuses to get off (I don't think she noticed though). So today, we actually went out. It went well. We did not talk about her email, and I tried my best to follow the rules, but I will admit, I got in a few belly sneaks and such. There were so many times today that I wanted to yell, just wait one more month, please...but I didn't. I have never been one to keep quiet, but today I was reserved. The funny thing is, I don't think she noticed. If this becomes a common theme, it will not be good for our relationship. But I need to think positively. I need to think that God has a plan and in the end it will all work out the way it needs to. I just need to keep on believing in this.
Today is my grandparents anniversary. They have been married for sixty two years. It is the most amazing thing to see and gives me something to strive for.