Saturday, August 14, 2010

Don't Tell Me To Just Relax!

I am starting my day with this. I literally am so mad, I could scream. I hate the just relax and it will happen speech.

I was relaxed when I first started TTCing four years ago. I was 27 fucking years old and had no ideas of the cruel world of IF.

I was relaxed when I met my local RE for the first time. (Ok, the testing scared the shit out of me, but the actual appointment I was pretty relaxed).

I was relaxed when I did 'timed intercourse' after one round of Clomid and Pur.egon injections helped me get one itty bitty follicle (I thought that was amazing).

I was relaxed after my first IUI when my RE was so overly confident it would work that I smiled all the way home.

I was relaxed after my first IVF retrieval when the RE and nursing staff sang me happy birthday (even though I was totally hopped up on drugs and still in major pain because they didn't kick in on time).

I was relaxed after my phone consult with CCRM where I was told that I had a good chance of conceiving with my eggs.

I was relaxed on the transfer table of my donor egg cycle.

I am no longer relaxed. Relaxing did not accomplish anything for me. Infertility is a disease. Geez, what does an IF gal need to do to get recognized?



  1. Agreed! Relaxing didn't do cr*p for me either! I am so tired of people thinking that relaxation is the magic wand of IF. And really, how can one relax with all the demands of being an IF patient?!

    Thinking of you.. thanks for your comment on my blog. Having a tough time right now and it means so much to know I am not alone in all of this.

  2. Preach it, sister! Maybe if I just relax, my fallopian tubes will grow back. No? :)

  3. Ugh, people are so damn ignorant with their advice when it comes to infertility.

    I'm so sorry for the awful week you had. You were so brave to do the Endometrial Biopsy rather than wait on the D&C. I'm so happy the physical part is finally over for you. You are one of the strongest, most resilient ladies I've ever had the privilege of knowing. It sounds like Dr. Schoolcraft has a promising plan in place for your FET! I'm planning on cycling in October so we can not-so-patiently wait for the fall to get here together.


  4. My guess is Dr. Gupta has a few grinning kids of his own.

    Where is the "thumbs down" button on these articles?

  5. Oh come on R, don't you know that you and A just need to go on a romantic vacation, enjoy some cocktails and forget about your worries, and voila! Ha! I hate it when people say that relaxing will help make a baby. People are so clueless.
    I'm glad you are feeling better.

  6. I hate that too. It is so annoying. You and all of us will relax when it is all done and we have a little someone smiling back at us.


  7. How's about you start turning that one around on people: "Just relax and your butt won't be so big." "Just relax and you won't be bald anymore." "Just relax and your bunions will go away."

  8. Well put my dear! Sorry you had to hear that shudder inducing mantra touted by fertiles everywhere. Idiots!

  9. Oh yuck. I'm sorry you got the "just relax" speech today. Just what you needed no?

    Ranks right up there with the "when you stop trying and give up then you'll get pregnant" speech.

  10. Good god if only it were as easy as "just relax" I am going to relax by punching my pillow tonight for you.