A very good friend of mine also suffers from Infertility. Actually, two years ago, I thought she was the worst case scenario (I have now far surpassed her). She was able to conceive a son through IVF and he will be two years old in December. Her journey to motherhood wasn't easy. It was filled with BFNs, two miscarriages, two IVFs, uterine bleeding which started at twenty three weeks, a six week hospital bed rest stay and finally birth at twenty eight weeks. Her son is healthy. Tonight as we were talking it came out that she has never done an FET. I know that she has some embryos frozen from her son's cycle.
I keep thinking about my ideal family; it would consist of three children (two girls and a boy - same as how I grew up). My plan (oh I wish I could make plans) would be to have the children two years apart. In my circle of friends, that seems to be the common spacing. So I now I am thinking about my friend, why hasn't she done an FET yet?
Is it possible that I am so focused on the one cycle, that I am unaware how much stress I am under? That maybe my view of motherhood and the ideal family is altered because I haven't reached a goal of becoming a mother, but once that happens I will be content and fulfilled with one child? I honestly can't think about how I would feel having only one child when right now I am struggling to have one.
The scars of Infertility run deep. It may just be that once the dream is finally achieved, I may learn that my ideal family is finally formed.