Wednesday, August 18, 2010


I can't believe that summer vacation is winding down. Next week I start getting my classroom organized and begin to prepare for the dream job. I"m excited. I have been off work for awhile and I really feel that I am ready to get back to work. Don't get me wrong, I am not wishing the next couple of weeks away, but I am ready.

This summer was supposed to be different. I should have been pregnant and enjoying every minute. I had pictured my summer so differently back in the spring.

Instead, this summer was a time for healing. My body needed to heal after the miscarriage (it is finally starting to do that now that all the trauma is over with), my marriage needed to heal after the miscarriage and years of stressful IF stuff and I needed to heal (I am still working on that one).

I have really taken time this summer to find myself again. I have rediscovered old passions like cooking and am trying to be good to myself. I sleep in (something I never do) and spend my days just relaxing. This has been wonderful medicine for me. I feel like everyday brings me one step closer to healing.

I still have moments. They are becoming few and father between, but they are there. This past week, was filled with moments. There were tears, frustration and pain. Oh the pain. But in all the darkness, a small light emerged. A. was there, holding my hand. Supporting me and loving me.

I don't want this FET to be delayed. I still haven't heard the verdict on that one, but whenever it happens I know that A. and I will be there together.


ETA: I just got an email back from the nurse, I'm not delayed at all. I start FET prep with this AF, yippeeeeeee.


  1. It sounds like you are making great progress on your healing. I'm glad you were able to take time for yourself this summer. I'm trying to do a little of that now, but unfortunately I have to get right back into the swing of things with school work soon.
    I hope your FET won't be delayed, but I know that you guys will be able to handle it if it does.

  2. Wonderful news're so right. All that matters is you and A.

  3. I do wish that you'll be successful next time. Yeah, relaxation is good. Wishing all the best for your FET.

  4. hey R. i've finally made it in to comment after reading and suddenly going all shy.

    i'm glad you're looking after yourself and that A. is looking after you too.


  5. Smile. That post made me smile for you. :)

  6. I've read your blog a lot. Sorry I haven't commented much, but you're always in my thoughts and prayers. So glad you're healing this summer and your husband is there to support you. You've been thru too much, I admire your strength. So glad for you that you can keep your FET schedule with no delays...

    Thanks for your nice comments on my blog :)

  7. ive been there. you two will emerge even stronger together, and as a couple. i just wrote almost the same thing on someone elses blog and normally i wouldnt but it is SO TRUE. take it from me, T and i have gone through SOME SHIT! i wish i could blog about it but he is a devoted reADER ;)

  8. So glad you are doing better - physically and emotionally. Also glad there has been no delay.


  9. You go, girl! May this AF cycle bring you a future of months of vomiting, swollen ankles, and blotchy skin - and a big fat belly. :)

    Thinking of you. Been stalking your blog for some time but wanted to comment now. Really and truly loads of luck!


  10. Yea! Congrats! Do you know when they think you'll transfer? I am out there on 9/24 - just wondering if we'll be close to the same date.