Reflecting

I can't believe that summer vacation is winding down. Next week I start getting my classroom organized and begin to prepare for the dream job. I"m excited. I have been off work for awhile and I really feel that I am ready to get back to work. Don't get me wrong, I am not wishing the next couple of weeks away, but I am ready.

This summer was supposed to be different. I should have been pregnant and enjoying every minute. I had pictured my summer so differently back in the spring.

Instead, this summer was a time for healing. My body needed to heal after the miscarriage (it is finally starting to do that now that all the trauma is over with), my marriage needed to heal after the miscarriage and years of stressful IF stuff and I needed to heal (I am still working on that one).

I have really taken time this summer to find myself again. I have rediscovered old passions like cooking and am trying to be good to myself. I sleep in (something I never do) and spend my days just relaxing. This has been wonderful medicine for me. I feel like everyday brings me one step closer to healing.

I still have moments. They are becoming few and father between, but they are there. This past week, was filled with moments. There were tears, frustration and pain. Oh the pain. But in all the darkness, a small light emerged. A. was there, holding my hand. Supporting me and loving me.

I don't want this FET to be delayed. I still haven't heard the verdict on that one, but whenever it happens I know that A. and I will be there together.

-R.

ETA: I just got an email back from the nurse, I'm not delayed at all. I start FET prep with this AF, yippeeeeeee.