Ok, so for the past month I have been writing (bitching really) about my life and my struggles. Today I got a little perspective.
The grade nine students at my school have just finished reading the novel, The Chrysalids, by John Whyndham. For those of you unfamiliar, a central theme revolves around fear of the other. Many connections can be made between infertility and this novel as I have expereineced in my own life. I have so many fertile friends who shy away from talking about pregnancy or family planning as it is too uncomfortable for them. For them? What about me? Maybe I need to talk, and I'm sorry, but if you have been blessed with chidren suck it up and talk to me. In my opinion you don't have the right to feel awkward around me.
But this is not what I want to focus on today. Today a speaker was brought in to speak with the students. This was a young man who was eleven years old living in Rwanda during the Genocide. He spoke about his story, life before and after, and how it has affected him. He now resides in Toronto and is a graduate and award winner of the University of Toronto. Hearing all that this man has gone through really made me think about my own life.
Yes, right now it feels like I have the raw end of the stick. I feel like I am the only young female unable to conceive (even if theoretically I know that's not true). I have many bruised and damaged friendships and feel like an outsider in my own skin, but that is nothing compared to the real pain that many people have and continue to go through.
Life does go on during and after infertility. I have to remind myself of that. I am not saying that I am going to completely forget about the very real pain that I constantly feel in my heart as I ache for the baby that I may never meet, but I will try and put some perspective on my rants. At least for today. Again, I am so thankful for the opportunity of meeting this inspirational man and hearing his story of courage, bravery and freedom.