When A. and I first decided it was time to start our family 3 years ago, we wanted to save some money. The first change we made was deciding not to have a cleaning lady. For many, this is insignificant, but to me A.K.A. the messiest woman alive, this was horrible. A. and I do not fight often, but when we do, it is almost always because I am a slob and he is not.
I miss having a cleaning lady. Besides which, our cleaning lady was not just that, she was family. It was the same woman who was our live in nanny when I was a small girl, who know has made enough money to bring her family to Canada. It is quite amazing actually because she put both her daughters through university and one is now a lawyer and the other is finishing up school in the medical profession.
So when we decided that we needed to clean for ourselves, it was my job to tell her. This was very difficult for me as I have never fired anyone before and she is like family. I thought the best strategy was to be honest. I told her that we were no longer going to have her clean because we were trying to start a family and we needed to save money. She not only understood, but was so excited for us. It was a great feeling.
Skip forward to today. I am at my parent's house, going to spend the day with my grandmother (who stays here on weekends)when I see her, the cleaning lady. I have run into her here a couple of times, but none recently. We had a quick catch up moment where she filled me in on the comings and goings of her daughters and then proceeded to ask me why my belly wasn't big. It made me sad. I didn't know what to say or how to react. I am so doped on estrogen these days that I can cry at the drop of a hat (and do) that I made a joke out of it. I lifted my shirt and said, "its still empty". Even through the joke, I think she understood what I was trying to say. She gave me that look. You know the one. The I feel so sorry for you look, which from certain people is meant to be helpful, but I just felt even more broken.
On a positive note, Ms. Perfect is starting her hormone injections today!