Monday, March 15, 2010

Lining Check...Failed

It didn't even move an inch. It is still only 5mm. What the fuck?! My body continues to let me down and once I again, I feel battered, broken and completely devastated. Donor egg was supposed to be easy. I have not had an easy time lately. Why does this continue to happen to me? I was so hopeful in the car on the way to the RE's office. I even began chanting affirmations to myself to get me pumped for a great start to the day:

My lining is now 8mm. I did this with Viagra, acupuncture, massage, hypnonsis, sitz baths, red raspberry leaf tea, essential oil and heat. I am proud of myself.

What a load of bullshit. NONE of it worked. Not even a little. I am so fed up with this stupid infertility, I need it to go away. Getting pregnant is so easy for so many, why is that? Are they more giving than me? More deserving? Why won't my body cooperate and do what it is told for once?

I am such a mess right now, I don't even know what to think (or type). I hope I get some answers from the nurse soon.


Edited to add: I finally spoke with the nurse and we both agreed that my lining is not cooperating. We are scrapping this cycle and going to try for a May transfer. It totally sucks and I am devastated. This is all I can muster up right now.


  1. I am so sorry. You're right, this was supposed to be easier.

    I know this--it has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person. You have to believe that. It is biology, pure and simple. Something is keeping your lining from plumping up this month on a biological level, and it's up to the medical professionals to figure it out.

    Will you do a freeze-all?

    Sending you hugs.

  2. I'm so so sorry. You have every right to feel the way you feel. DE is supposed to work AND it is supposed to be easy peasy. You've been thrown from the train twice now. You've gotta be feeling beaten and bruised. ((HUGS))