I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I am still spinning from last night's success and so it doesn't bother me at all that I am awake two hours earlier to go for my suppression check. My local RE's clinic is busy, but small at the same time. When I walk into the clinic I feel a little like royalty. Everyone knows me and I get the special treatment. You know the kind, the more than just because we are polite small talk and the genuine concern for our progress. It is nice. Also at this clinic, people tend to have their spot for waiting. There is only one small waiting room and it doesn't matter if it is for blood work, ultrasound or the doctor. It took me awhile to settle in, learn the ropes and choose my spot, but I did choose. My preferred spot is on the side but right at the front. It is situated so perfectly beside the nurses station and in front of the reception desk. There is always something going on in that corner so it keeps me distracted. I am not interested in the gossip, I just like being included in the discussions about our weekends and shopping and so on. This has been my relationship for the past three years. I feel at home here, which is probably why it took me so long to explore my other options.
Everything went smoothly at this visit. Usually when I go, I present my CCRM order form and have to explain why I need the ultrasound techs to just do what is on the page instead of their procedure. That takes around ten minutes...each visit. Today, they just let me right in. No questioning, no problem. I went to the room and had my date with the dildocam. It wasn't pleasant, but it was quick and painless. Then I went on to get my blood drawn. I have no veins. It usually takes about five minutes of me squeezing fists before the tiniest one pops up...not today. The vein was ready and waiting and the needle prick was just that, a prick (have I mentioned lately how I LOATHE needles?). The last visit I needed to make was to the nurse for the conversion of my prescriptions from US to Canadian. Aside from a debate from the nurse and a doctor on the use of Endometriun (just became available in Canada last week), that too was quick. Overall it was a good visit.
Around 12pm I received an email from my nurse with my next steps. Let me start off by saying that I'm not feeling so zen at the moment. In fact, I'm sort of having a panic attack. My suppression check results were in and they were not looking so good. My lining is quite thin at 5mm (they want it over 8). You have got to be kidding me! Why now? I have never had this problem before, so why now? This cycle is killing me. I am trying to remain calm and positive, but it is getting increasingly difficult as the days go by. In her email, she suggested I add Viagra suppositories 4x a day to my daily medication regimen. Okay, I have no problem with that, however I suggested this a while back and she told me it was unnecessary. Really? Then why am I needing it now?!
I spoke with the nurse by phone and she explained me to the possible outcomes:
1. The sonographer read the results incorrectly or wrote the results incorrectly. This is the best case scenario and apparently it is common, however in my three years as their patient, there has never been this problem.
2. Adding the Viagra will improve the lining and all should be status quo.
3. The lining does not improve in time for the transfer and so we do a freeze all cycle and transfer a few days later.
4. The lining does not improve over time and so we start fresh preparing for a new transfer at a later date. This is my worst case scenario and of course, I am freaking out over it.
I asked the nurse what else I could do to improve my lining and she said nothing really. I am going for a third acupuncture session tomorrow and will target this area. I asked about home remedies, but she told me not to take any herbs, so I wont. I am just so scared and frustrated and upset.
I am so hoping things will work out.
-R.
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