Wednesday, June 2, 2010


I'm freaking out. Sometime this morning and only for a few seconds the cramping intensified. So much that I remember clenching the desk, breathing and then it was over. A few hours later when I went to the washroom I had some brown (I think its brown, but it mixed with the green Estrace pill so who knows) on my liner. Ok freakout begin. Could it be that I've had false hope all this time? I knew this was probably too good to be true. I really need this to work out.

I emailed my nurse and luckily got a reply within minutes. She assured me that spotting is totally normal - especially around beta time. I should make sure to drink lots of fluids. Ok, feeling a tiny bit better.

I'm more nervous for tomorrow's test then ever. When I had my chemical pregnancy my intial beta was 75, I need this one to be higher.

Have I been too optimstic? Did I take the sticks for granted? I hope the test tomorrow proves my biggest were just that, unfounded fears, but right now...I'm terrified.
Symptoms: sore boobs, queasy, cramping, tired (although I wake up early without the alarm :( ).


  1. nah, you're fine...IVF pregnancies especially tend to bleed a lot. don't worry even though i know the feeling and it's horrible!
    praying for a high #!

  2. I think it's totally natural that you would be disproportionately worried that something is going to go wrong, given how difficult it has been to get to this point. I have heard of lots of women with spotting (and even red bleeding) in early pregnancy when everything was fine, so I have no reason to think that your pregnancy isn't also OK.

    Hope tomorrow's test is a reassuring number. Hang in there.

  3. Oh man... that must have been scary... I really hope you get a really high beta tomorrow. And having optimism is a good thing... especially around this cruel IF world. Optimism and hope are the two things that help you move forward. So dont blame yourself for being optimistic!
    Take it easy and rest up. Can't wait to hear for tomorrow!

  4. I'm sorry you had a scare, but I'm sure you are going to be fine. I know exactly how it is to be constantly on edge about everything. I'm sure you won't be able to relax for 9 months! I'll be hoping for the best for your beta tomorrow!

  5. Hey R...this is terrifying I know first hand. But I think that as long as the spotting is brown you're okay. I know of women who had spotting for entire pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby. So who knows...but hopefully tomorrow's beta will be double. Thinking of you...

  6. this...

  7. Oh thinking of you! I can only imagine how freaked out you must have been. Thinking of you and hoping for a nice big number tomorrow!