No not the bleeding, but the reality of what has happened. I woke up feeling empty today. Again, I was able to sleep through the night and this was the first time in months that I didn't have the alarm go off to remind to take some pills. That was nice, I guess.
I would be exactly 7 weeks today and wouldn't you know, my body still thinks its pregnant. Full blown nausea this morning. No, I didn't throw up, but I did dry heave many times. FML.
I went to see my acupuncturist this morning. She treated me to a session to help bring on the miscarriage naturally. I so hope it works. This is where the emotions came out. I have no clue what triggered me, but all of a sudden, I couldn't hold it in and the tears just came out and rolled down my face. I was still tearing when I left the office an hour later. I guess this is to be expected, the spontaneous crying and I should just bring tissues with me when I go places.
I just hope the bleeding starts on its own and is over quickly, the anticipation is torture. I just want to move on.
***
One exciting thing that is happening today is that my cousin asked me to accompany her to her dress fitting. I love everything weddings and so I am so happy to share this moment with her. I suspect I will need the tissues for this as well.
-R.
your emotions will be all over place for awhile and rightfully so. I hope and pray that you will go naturally...looking back now I am so happy it went that way with mine too. Glad to see you are getting out of the house and doing something fun though, it is a good distraction to have during this difficult time. Prayers are with you always.
ReplyDeleteI know for me it got better once the miscarriage was over. Really hoping it comes very soon. Thinking of you and hoping that better days ahead are just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI hope your acupuncturist's treatment works (quickly). Probably wouldn't hurt to carry tissues around with you, I was all over the place for a while.... I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteglad you went in for the accu this morning and i really believe it should get things started for you. thinking of you and i know how hard it is to know your baby is gone and be waiting for your body to catch up. im just so sad and sorry
ReplyDeletexoxo
I'm so sorry R. I think the acupuncture session also could have made you so emotional - I have heard that can happen. It sounds like a good option to try that to bring on the miscarriage. I can't even imagine the pain you are going through. Once again, I am so glad you stopped working, though I imagine you could also use something to keep your mind off of things. I hope it is over soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I wish I had the words to take away even a little bit of your heartache.
ReplyDeleteHoping that the acupuncture helps make things happen naturally.
Thinking of you, R!
R - If you are like me this will never really be over for you. I hope the physically part of your pain and suffering comes swiftly. Between the pregnancy hormones and the acupuncture I'm sure your emotions are all over the place. I know a plan and being able to look forward was always a comfort for me. I hope your WTF appt gets here quickly and you can come up with a plan to start your next transfer. My heart really goes out to you during this horrible time.
ReplyDeleteI am still really mad at the universe over this whole thing - why you, someone has struggled so much to get those 2 pink lines? life is just really not fair sometimes. i am so sorry for you - I can only imagine that your heart must be broken. I hope that you will be able to survive your sisters pg. take care of yourself. after i miscarried the first time i went to LA and shopped -it helped.
ReplyDeleteRJ
I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDelete