Fertiles and infertiles I mean. I have been thinking about this a lot lately as it directly relates to my sister and me. I have written before about the extremely close bond that we share and I am so thankful that this has not changed due to our pregnancies. If anything, you all were right, and we are experiencing the joys (and my fears) together.
After spending the night at the mall together I observed three differences between her and me.
With my recent spotting incident I have been hoping and praying and hoping and praying, you get the idea, that I could at least make it to the ultrasound. Her take is that if god forbid something were to happen, it isn't real until you see the heart flicker on the screen so it may be easier. Um, no! This was 3+ years in the making and I have never gotten to this step. Obviously, I want/need/hope/pray that this pregnancy will continue and bring me a healthy baby, but that doesn't mean it isn't real because I haven't seen an ultrasound picture. Well, actually I have. I have the picture when they implanted. So there, score one for the infertile!
2. Gaining Weight
My sister and I both have average body types. I am short (4"11), and carry most of my weight in my abdomen, ugh. And she is taller (5"5) and has her weight more distributed. I would not call either of us fat, even though I have gained a good 15 or so pounds from IVF. She is starting to gain a little pregnancy weight. It is cute actually. She has a teeny tiny belly that comes out at night, but other than that, she looks the same only a little fuller. Well, she hates it. So you know what I would give, to gain some pregnancy weight? Um, my left foot? right arm? $150 000? You get the idea.
3. Sharing the News
I always thought I would wait until twelve weeks to share pregnancy news with friends and family. (I don't even have a FB account so that would definitely not be the way I would do it.) I have since realized that nothing is a guarantee and we need to enjoy the moments we have. I *think* if we get to this stage, I will feel confident sharing my news after two healthy ultrasounds (8-9 weeks). Her on the other hand, needs to wait until the superstitious time of twelve weeks. Ok, to each their own. Knowing that anything can happen at any time, I just want to be able to have moments of joy where I share news with the people I love. Is this the wrong attitude?
I am not generally a nervous person. I think of myself as a pretty level headed thinker, who is a realist. When I have reason for concern (like the spotting/bleeding), I react accordingly. Otherwise, I'm good. This is why, I *think* I am ok with my telling plan. I reserve the right to change my mind a thousand times between now and then.
I got my latest BETA results back today and it came in at 7842. Not a huge jump from two days ago. I did a lot of research on Dr. Google today as well as speaking with the nurses at both the local clinic and CCRM. Not so significant as the doubling time decreases as the number increases. I am choosing not to worry or think about it (often) and hope for the best at Monday's ultrasound.
Symptoms: the fatigue is back, nothing else really.