First dose is down and it wasn't bad at all. I took 800 mcg of the pill and had a pain killer every six hours. To be honest, I think I psychologically felt some cramping throughout the night, but not in reality. I did sleep, which was really good. I also listened to my hypnosis cd right after i put the pills in so that calmed down a lot.
The worst part by far was sitting in the bathroom before I inserted the first dose. I just held my tummy and cried. This was the time that I was really saying goodbye and I love you. It was probably the hardest moment of my life. I just wiped my tears, took a deep breath and did it. It sucked, but its over. I have been in bed ever since.
This morning, I am bleeding with dark clots (that look like period clots thank god), but only when I go to the bathroom. Thankfully there is nothing on the massive overnight pad my mom bought me. I heard that the heavy bleeding will be today, oh the joy. The other side effect that I think I have is the chills. I am usually so hot, but I am feeling chilly, although not exactly feverish. I'm sweating a bit, but can't be without the covers. If this is the worst it gets, I can do this.
A. has to go out this morning. His cousin had a baby and today is her baby naming. In Judaism, this is where the child is named in a synagogue with her Hebrew name. His cousins from out of town will be there and I would hate for him to miss this. He would have stayed back to be with me, but I know this is important for him. He has been really amazing and suportive through this whole mess and I think this is the first time that we have been on the same page when given devastating news. Maybe this is my bright light? My sister will come and hang out with me this morning until A. comes home. Things are fine between us, but I am sure my emotions and feelings will go back and forth as her pregnancy progresses and her body changes, but for now, I am not letting it ruin our strong bond.
My second dose is in about an hour. Hopefully it will be the same as the first one. I am so ready to just be done with this and move on.