Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sinking In

I had a good night sleep last night. It was uninterrupted once my eyes finally closed. I woke this morning and for a brief moment, I forgot. The emptiness and the pain are more intense now as well as my tears. The come streaming down my face with such intensity and I can't find a way to slow them down. My wonderful symptoms of nausea and such have faded away and I have been having brown discharge/spotting all day (Dr. Google tells me this is a sign of a blighted ovum). Soon I will have nothing left to remind me that for a brief time, I was pregnant.

I am no longer numb. I am devastated. I am hurt. I am profoundly sad and I am angry.

-R.

11 comments:

  1. You are in my thoughts. I wish you weren't going through this.

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  2. I wish I could take it all away my dear friend. Only time will make this better...I don't know how long we never know but I promise you the deep pain WILL get better...I promise you.

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  3. hugs and peace to you and A

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  4. (((((hugs))))))

    I'm hurting with you and wish that things were different.

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  5. So sorry to hear what you are going through. It sucks. Whatever you have planned for tomorrow, take off and rent a movie. Just do things to take your mind off of what you are going through.
    I am not focusing on what I am going through at this moment, because we are about to deliver a dinner to someone who works with my husband. His wife, in her thirties, suffered a stroke. I am not sure how bad it is, but I think it is pretty bad. I have to realize that although things are bad, things could be a lot worse.

    Hugs,

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  6. I so wanted this to be better for you - I have been there and I can tell you that it will get better (slowly) Take really good care of yourself!

    RJ

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  7. I am so, so sorry. That moment of forgetting (or thinking it's just a bad dream) is horrible, because it's like you repeatedly keep having to endure the loss. I wish there was some magic way to take the pain away. I know there's not, but I hope you're able to take some small measure of comfort in knowing others are thinking of you and here for you.

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  8. I am just now catching up on the events of the last week... I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I know there is nothing I could say to make it all better. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come to you, as that's the only way you will be able to move forward. We are all here for support.

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  9. ((((((HUGS)))))))

    I'm so sorry R. I wish I could make it different for you.

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  10. I am so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you. I've been in a similar place and it sucks. You forget for a moment, and then the pain of it all comes rushing at you again. It is horrible. I wish I had the words to take even a small part of this pain from you. Know that there are people holding you in our hearts as you go through this. Hugs to you.

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  11. I'm so sorry:( I went through this same exact situation 6 months ago and it's so very hard. There's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. Just know that we are all here for you if you need us. ((((Hugs))))

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