Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Broken Record

I have been walking around all day repeating the same words. Let. My. Lining. Be. Thick. With my four IUIs and 4 IVFs I have never been one to obsess over details of the cycle. Well, I did stress over estrogen levels at one point, but that was a different scenario altogether.

Right now, I can't stop focusing on the number 8. I am doing everything in my power and trying to think positively, but it is so damn hard. I wish there was a sign or a test that I could take to give me some indication that it is improving. I can't believe there isn't a LTT (lining thickness test), if there was, I would buy a million. I guess for now, I have to continue to be busy and keep my mind from dwelling on my lining.


On another note, I need some advice...

I have an acquaintance IF friend IRL who shares a mutual good friend, however we are not in the same circle of friends. We have met for coffee once or twice where we discuss our cycles. I, being the vet, usually answer her questions. No problem. We are meeting tomorrow after not seeing each other or speaking for a long time. The last time we talked, I mentioned how we may need to pursue donor eggs. A. and I are planning on telling our future child/ren about using a donor, however we are not "out" to the public, just our immediate family. Here's my question:

Would you share that you were doing donor eggs to an acquittance if you thought it would help her because she was considering or doing this option?



  1. im not sure if you read jenicinis blog...but she posted about this very thing not too long ago as she is pregnant with DE right now!


    also a little pregnant...julie had her second baby with DE...they are both just telling erybody!


    if i thought it would help and i thought she would keep it to herself (if i didnt want to share with the world) then i probably would tell her, but i tell everybody everything! im not good at secrets or lies, so i do a lot of making people promise not to say anything LOL

    i just know your lining will be perfect! but ill chant your mantra a couple times for you just in case :o)

    remember the other day when it was great??? it still will be!


  2. R,

    That's a good question. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and thus a very small handful of people (family and close friends) know we are considering egg donation. I know if I was the acquaintance you were talking about I think I'd appreciate "a seed" of information to get her thinking. Perhaps you can tell the information in a way that keeps your DE confidentiality in place but gives her limited information that DE is an option to consider. I think just the comment "Have you considered egg donation?" and let it go from there. Guage what her reaction is and provide more info if you think she's open to the concept...if she is then you can still keep your confidentiality in your family building efforts but say that you and DH considered this option and to check out these clinics/agencies...yes you're with CCRM but they also do regular IVF, etc.

    I just know the day I found out about DE we were over the moon about it and felt like we really had an awesome alternative choice to having a family compared to other alternatives. I remember being so depressed thinking we'll never have kids except via adoption and I just couldn't and still cannot stomach the process adoption carries (also in my province there are no private agencies, etc.). So DE felt like a huge relief to both of us.

    Just my rambling two cents...


  3. I've only had one experience with offering advice to a fellow IFer and she doesn't talk to me now. We used to work together and we kept in touch by emailing a few times a year. She emailed that she kept having m/c and was going to the doctor. I emailed that she should ask for more tests, get her DH checked, etc. but I think I must have offended her. I've emailed her since and have never received a response. Good luck with your friend, these are never easy conversations to have. I'll be thinking of you.

  4. I think I would tell her. I see it as part of the IF circle of info. If you don't want her sharing this with others, be clear about that, and I'm sure she'd understand.

    good luck!

  5. First, I hope that your lining is growing growing growing past that magical 8 number. :) Secondly, I don't know your story well enough to know if you have told other people about what you are going through, however that is definitely a factor. Yet, I know that through my own disclosure about infertility and donor eggs that other people have found some hope or peace with their options. I would simply offer your own story as an example and let her ask questions if she's interested. Either way, lots of luck with the meeting and lining!

  6. Sometime mid last year, I started attending support group sessions to deal with IF. It is just a bunch of people who are at various stages of life dealing with IF. When I meet them, I tell them everything --- way more than my family/friends know. (Only a handful (8) of family/friends know about our IF struggles). I tell this in the hope that some test that I did can help them and that hearing from someone else can probably ease their pains a bit. But again, none of these acquaintances know anyone from my family/friends circle.

    So if you think it can help her and if you know she is open to DE, then go ahead share it.

    And BTW, good luck with the lining!

  7. Sending you thick, fluffy lining vibes!!!

    If I were in your situation, I would not tell my friend. We seem to have gossipy friends/family, and I would be worried that my private business would get around. However, if you would trust her to keep your personal matters confidential, then maybe the information could prove helpful to her.

  8. This is a really tough one R. I can certainly see that you would want to keep this info private, yet telling your acquaintance might help lift the stigma that so many people have about donor egg. I guess I would try to gauge her level of confidentiality, and maybe would tell her. I think that if more people realized just how many people out there have used donor egg, it wouldn't be such a big deal.
    And I'm sending you good lining vibes as well!