I decided this morning (at 6am when I got up to insert my first dose of meds for the day) that I was going to be more positive. I am not going to obsess over the details that are out of my control. My lining is going to thicken or not, whether I'm optimistic or pessimistic, so I'm going to try and relax. Now that my nurse has told me that as long as I don't compact (which she doesn't expect to happen) I will get to transfer, I'm in a much better place.
I'll prove it. This morning my mom told me one of my cousins is pregnant (4th announcement this week, but whose counting?). I managed to say a quick "that's nice" and then continued on with our conversation. I'm upset, but I didn't cry. I didn't feel anything really. This cousin is two years younger and she has now lapped me. Oh well. At the end of the day, we are not extrememly close so I'm not going to let it get me down.
I am already feeling the rewards of my new attitude. I have been shoe shopping for months trying to find a pair to wear to my cousin's wedding. The requirements are nude and in my size (5). Having small feet is a curse. It is almost impossible to find specific shoes. Today, I stumbled upon a store that I never frequent, they had the colour, the exact style I wanted and best of all, my size. They are not the most comfortable, but the price was right and after the isle, I will put on some cute flats.
Hopefully this will be a trend of good things to come.