I can't think of a title for this post. It was supposed to be a post about my lining. An uplifting post because it increased to 6.5 and so I am able to stay on the same protocol and continue building it and get rechecked on Friday. I am not out of the woods yet, but hopefully on an upward tilt. Friday will be D-Day though, its my last chance. I am worried, but I am going to try and focus my energy on getting acupuncture treatments and staying calm. (How long do you think that will last?)
I thought about writing about todays, "The Doctor" show where my doctor was a guest. I'll admit was a kick seeing him on TV, but I thought the segment as a whole was too happy. Just my opinion though.
I wanted to write about my session with SJ and how she said, I was looking a lot calmer than she was anticipating. How I attribute this to my hypnosis cd that I listen to every night while falling asleep. How when she asked me if I had any more pregnancy announcements I had none. I left her office, feeling pretty good.
So good in fact, that I spoke with A. and we came up with a straetgy plan for what I need emotionally if things should fall apart.
I just didn't realize that things would fall apart so quickly.
In the car on my way home from SJ, I got a message from a friend asking me to call her. You know where I am going with this. Pregnancy announcement #1. She was extremely sensitive and I wished her well, hung up the phone and cried myself home. A. saw my hysterical state, and thought it would be better for me to be upset once, then on multiple days so you guessed it, pregnancy announcement #2. This is from a couple who is now expecting their third. When this couple told us about their second child, it was after we had been "out" about our infertility, when I was still able to joke. I think I even made a comment about the rule that no one gets seconds before everyone has firsts. Needless to say, more hysterical crying and no joking. The kicker came about 5 minutes later, with pregnancy announcemnt #3. I think my exact words were, "just kill me now". This couple has stuggled for a long time to conceive. She has Lupus and they have undergone 3 IVFs, I am happy for them.
Could this day suck anymore?