Friday, May 7, 2010

Of Course

Nothing ever goes my way when it comes to IF. Never. It is still 6. Again, it hasn't moved at all. I'm not upset, I'm furious. Furious at my body for continually letting me down, furious at my nurse for continuing to prescribe protocols that obviously do not work, furious at the dr (AKA dr. Famous as many of you call him) for not living up to the hype and furious at my local RE who only got me to optimal lining once (9.2) for IVF 3 which incidentally was the one where I had the chemical. I think I have to face facts. I have lining issues. Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me this before?

I emailed my nurse from the dr's office this morning. It will be waiting for her when she arrives at work. Her and I need to have a little chat about what the fuck is going on. It won't be pretty. I'm not in that kind of mood. I am so frustrated by all this shit.

Sorry that I am not being more upbeat and positive, its just not in me right now.


ETA: I finally got a hold of my nurse at 4:00 today. She seemed shocked and confused by this. I asked if we could add more meds, change dosages, change protocols, but the most she said we could do was add another Estrace pill. I thought that her calling me so late in the afternoon meant that she conferred with the doctor, but no, she is calling the shots. I don't like this at all. For now, I guess I just medicate and hope for the best, but expect the worse.


  1. You have every right to be as pissed as you need to be. I don't blame you at all. I know how all these disappointments feel - almost surreal, like it can't really be happening to you. I'm so sorry. We are all here for you.

  2. Damn. I am so sorry, I was so hopeful for you. I'm pissed too - what the hell?? Why is this happening?? ARGH! I hope you get some answers from Dr. Famous and the nurse.

  3. I'm so sorry about today's news!! You have every right to stand up for yourself and figure out what's going on! If we don't advocate for ourselves, who will? Sending (((HUGS))) your way!

  4. Ah F*BOMB* so angry for you...why can't any of this crap be easy for once! WHY!!! Hun...if I had any positive upbeat advice you'd just want to slap me in the face. So go ahead be pissed. I'm super pissed for you and DH too.


  5. this sucks :(
    and im sorry.

    im going to be waiting for an update from ya. my offer is still open to come down here and stay...

  6. This sucks so much - I am so sorry. Life is not fair. Hope that you get answers soon.


  7. I came across your blog thru my daughter's blog, "Journey to the Center of the Uterus". You can't imagine how a mother of an infertile feels...I'm the oldest of six, my mother popped them out like popcorn, I have four children and did the same. I.NEVER.IN.MY.WILDEST.DREAMS.thought I'd be living this nightmare...
    I have bookmarked you as a "favorite" blog, if you can even say that...
    You are in my thoughts and prayers...

  8. I posted my suggestions on IVFconnections and then saw that the nurse said no to either of them. I DO NOT LIKE IT that your nurse is making the calls, that makes no sense. You have to insist on talking to the doctor. I caught so many mistakes the nurses made at CCRM...they think they know everything and while I'm sure they're smart they don't KNOW EVERYTHING. Your case is different and unique and you must advocate for yourself through this.

    Oh man I'm just so angry for you.

  9. Oh, I am so pissed for you too! I agree with Mrs. LC, you need to get your dukes up and start fighting for some doctor time. It's hard to do, I went through it myself but was so glad once I did. I didn't want to be the patient that the nurse would cringe to see that I had called again with another question. You know what? Screw them! We are the ones going through hell. Keep your chin up ~ I'm thinking of you.

  10. So angry for you and frustrated that the nurse is making the calls. Thinking of you!