Sunday, May 2, 2010

It Has to Work

I think I asked/told A. (and myself) this a thousand times today. I need reassurance. I need to feel optimistic. I need to feel like I have a fighting chance.

So many people use donor eggs and have success. The odds are in our favour for once. Why can't I just relax and believe?

It all goes back to the last three years. We were told by many drs that IF treatments would work for us. We were told, that I would take Clomid and get pregnant. No one expected me (at 28) to need injectables or IUI or IVF and at 30 no one thought I would need donor eggs, but still...here I am. So yeah, it is hard for me to believe that this time, I have a fighting chance, when on paper the other times should have worked.

This cycle has to work. If it doesn't I am not sure that I will be able to recover.

-R.

5 comments:

  1. The odds are awesome with this. I know it's hard...but just believe! I will be praying for you:) ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I admire your strength. I understand how it can feel difficult to feel hopeful after such a long and difficult journey as yours. But, the odds are better and I really really hope this one works out for the good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oooh! pretty blog :)

    i read this last night and nodded along with every word...i never thought id have half of my reproductive system cut out at age 26, never thought id be doing IUI (waste) and IVF by 30. NEVER.

    but, yea this is our life and im with you...it had damn well better work!! hoping for you, my sweet friend...

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know just how you feel, though I haven't quite gotten to the donor eggs (yet). Every step we take further down that ART road, the higher the stakes. And every time I have failed, I didn't know how I would recover, and yet I have. Well, I'm still in the process of recovering from the latest disappointment, but I'll get there. I do know that if I were to fail at donor eggs, that would be truly devastating. However, as you point out, your chances are really, really great. And you do have a lovely number of blasts on ice as I recall. So hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the new look of the blog! :)

    I understand where you are coming from. Sending positive thoughts your way. This WILL work! :)

    ReplyDelete